Silver Adept (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
silveradept) wrote2019-01-09 07:22 am
silveradept) wrote2019-01-09 07:22 am
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Fandom Snowflake 2019 #9: Do A Good Turn Daily
Commit an Act of Kindness.
And, if you're so inclined, there's also More Joy Day on the 17th, a couple days after Snowflake ends.
I find many of the acts of kindness we do to others are the things we don't think about, but mean significant things to others. We laud conscious acts of kindness, like making decisions to donate monies to charity, or paying for someone else's coffee, or leaving a note for someone about how awesome they are (because they are, and you are), but I often think that there are small kindnesses that we do to others without thinking about them.
Or perhaps, not kindnesses, because that implies the sort of thing where someone doesn't have to do something, and they do it anyway, but acts of respect. The sorts of things where when someone says "My name is Alexandra Wilhemina Desdemona Katherine Margaret Derkins, and my pronouns are xie/xem/xers", you call xie by xer proper pronouns immediately and consistently. (Or at least make the consistent effort to -- sometimes we mess it up and we have to correct ourselves and move on.)
Even if what happens when you hear someone using your correct pronouns and correcting others on that is a certain amount of "aw, how nice", because you're happy that someone is making sure they're doing it right and others are, too. But if you asked me why I use the right pronouns for people, I won't say "because it's kind to do so," but something more like "because those are the right pronouns to use, and people deserve to have their pronouns used." It's only seen as an act of kindness because we have too many examples of people doing just the opposite of that, refusing to believe in the agency and humanity of others and insisting that their view of the world is somehow objectively superior to someone else's self-determination.
Which is to say that I've already committed one act of kindness today just in helping make sure my household is able to get where they need to go so they can be self-determining people. And I probably will commit more of them today without thinking about it, because that's the kind of person that I strive to be in my life and at my workplace. Signal-boosting something I think is important, or well-put, or saying there's a gift work or two that I'm working on are also acts of kindness - I'm writing a thing for someone else, and I hope they enjoy it.
Perhaps the thing I find most difficult about doing a conscious act of kindness is trying to avoid being one of those people who have already received their reward about it. A bit that might be familiar (to Christians) is the beginning of Chapter 6 of the account of Matthew.
There's a certain amount of secrecy that's supposed to be involved in giving and praying for Christians, and some of that is borne out of the ideas and newness of the religious movement needing a certain amount of secrecy, but also there's truth in that people get annoyed or discount when people do good things flashily or splashily, thinking it more for the public relations than for the actual good being done.
So, all of these many words later, and the truth is this: I have done something kind today, and yesterday, and will do so tomorrow, because that is part of who I am. (Also a reason that I identify as a Hufflepuff, but anyway...) Most of these acts of kindness will be un-commented on, un-remarked upon, because they will be unremarkable. Many of those things may change a person's life or direction in subtle or profound ways, but it will take a significant amount of time before those acts come to fruition, and by then, the people who received those acts of kindness may no longer know who it was that provided it to them.
I suspect this is the same for you, as well. And, disheartening as it is to consider, most of us are unlikely to have a situation in our lives where all of our students come back to play a piece commissioned in our honor on the day of our retirement. But the good that you have done is still there in the world, and while it may be small comfort to everyone who comes to this realization, it is the comfort I have for you.
If you are well, then I am well.
And, if you're so inclined, there's also More Joy Day on the 17th, a couple days after Snowflake ends.
I find many of the acts of kindness we do to others are the things we don't think about, but mean significant things to others. We laud conscious acts of kindness, like making decisions to donate monies to charity, or paying for someone else's coffee, or leaving a note for someone about how awesome they are (because they are, and you are), but I often think that there are small kindnesses that we do to others without thinking about them.
Or perhaps, not kindnesses, because that implies the sort of thing where someone doesn't have to do something, and they do it anyway, but acts of respect. The sorts of things where when someone says "My name is Alexandra Wilhemina Desdemona Katherine Margaret Derkins, and my pronouns are xie/xem/xers", you call xie by xer proper pronouns immediately and consistently. (Or at least make the consistent effort to -- sometimes we mess it up and we have to correct ourselves and move on.)
Even if what happens when you hear someone using your correct pronouns and correcting others on that is a certain amount of "aw, how nice", because you're happy that someone is making sure they're doing it right and others are, too. But if you asked me why I use the right pronouns for people, I won't say "because it's kind to do so," but something more like "because those are the right pronouns to use, and people deserve to have their pronouns used." It's only seen as an act of kindness because we have too many examples of people doing just the opposite of that, refusing to believe in the agency and humanity of others and insisting that their view of the world is somehow objectively superior to someone else's self-determination.
Which is to say that I've already committed one act of kindness today just in helping make sure my household is able to get where they need to go so they can be self-determining people. And I probably will commit more of them today without thinking about it, because that's the kind of person that I strive to be in my life and at my workplace. Signal-boosting something I think is important, or well-put, or saying there's a gift work or two that I'm working on are also acts of kindness - I'm writing a thing for someone else, and I hope they enjoy it.
Perhaps the thing I find most difficult about doing a conscious act of kindness is trying to avoid being one of those people who have already received their reward about it. A bit that might be familiar (to Christians) is the beginning of Chapter 6 of the account of Matthew.
Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them, for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven. Thus, when you give to the needy, sound no trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may be praised by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.
There's a certain amount of secrecy that's supposed to be involved in giving and praying for Christians, and some of that is borne out of the ideas and newness of the religious movement needing a certain amount of secrecy, but also there's truth in that people get annoyed or discount when people do good things flashily or splashily, thinking it more for the public relations than for the actual good being done.
So, all of these many words later, and the truth is this: I have done something kind today, and yesterday, and will do so tomorrow, because that is part of who I am. (Also a reason that I identify as a Hufflepuff, but anyway...) Most of these acts of kindness will be un-commented on, un-remarked upon, because they will be unremarkable. Many of those things may change a person's life or direction in subtle or profound ways, but it will take a significant amount of time before those acts come to fruition, and by then, the people who received those acts of kindness may no longer know who it was that provided it to them.
I suspect this is the same for you, as well. And, disheartening as it is to consider, most of us are unlikely to have a situation in our lives where all of our students come back to play a piece commissioned in our honor on the day of our retirement. But the good that you have done is still there in the world, and while it may be small comfort to everyone who comes to this realization, it is the comfort I have for you.
If you are well, then I am well.