I often wonder where the need to know a person's gender comes from. I get what you mean with feeling like this only opens more ways to be othered, but I hope that being able to describe experiences more clearly will lead to better understanding. Maybe this can even help a lot of cis people to discover that they aren't as rigidly male or female as they thought. I think it helps broaden horizons - those who don't WANT to understand will keep misinterpreting our reality. The English language is so lucky having "they" handy as a pronoun. In German, we have no ambiguous pronouns, and choosing "it" doesn't feel right to many. There are tries to introduce new pronouns (just like some propose xe or ze in English), but it doesn't feel right. "They" flows with the conversation. Still there's work to be done and minds to be opened.