Silver Adept (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
silveradept) wrote2005-04-23 11:01 pm
silveradept) wrote2005-04-23 11:01 pm
Snow. That's right, snow.
There was snow falling for a large majority of today. This is generally considered to be Winter's last gasp before finally letting in Spring. So we'll brave it patiently, like we always do. Went to a local establishment to watch some of the draft picks. We're happy with the positioning of our draft candidates. The teams they go to, maybe not so much. Our team also picked up another hot wide receiver - after those above him passed and took defensive guys. So, perhaps the way for our team to win is to do what Fritz did - Point-A-Minute offense. All we need is a decent blocking line and a quarterback that can throw relatively on target. We might be able to do the rest. And we'll need a defense that doesn't injure itself... actually, we just need not to have injuries. That would be nice.
There's lots of interesting science on the way - like this exoskeleton. The name could have used a little work, though. I guess it won't be sold to anyone by the name of Dave. The Zombie Synchronicity continues, as well - a Zombie Survival Guide crossed my desk today, with a plethora of links to other materials. Should we ever have a Day of the Dead, perhaps we'll be able to keep the losses down, since everyone will know what to do.
In political science, it appears that we really don't care about the issues at all. Well, not most of them, anyway. We might also want to keep an eye on the repetition of certain words by peoples in authority - it's rather probably that their truths and ours don't line up - but they'll want to enforce the idea that their truths are absolutely always true. Keep in mind a potentially Discordian maxim - "All things are true, false, and meaningless at the same time."
Speaking of people who want to wield the power to define truth, the newest Pope has expressed his disapproval of a bill in Spain that would both legalize marriage between homosexuals and give those couples the right to adopt. Notice the position being taken... that Roman Catholic officials should be prepared to "lose their jobs" rather than to let such a thing pass or enforce it. This is the same stance of someone who worked out a way to deny any pro-choice person Communion and then wanted to ensure that the priests did, indeed, do just that. The Inquisition has arrived, ladies and gentlemen of the Catholic faith, and it looks like their intent is to cleanse the church of errant thinkers as well as try to undermine the secular governance of nations. They can just do it from the Pope's office as well as their own, now. Catholics might be getting a firsthand account of what it feels like to have been a liberal over the last four years as well as these four.
Shifting gears, I had a stray thought enter my head yesterday, when I commented to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
uncle_pervy that I was Piro to his Largo in our friendship, especially in our relations to c|-|1X0r5. And then, well, the cast developed a bit, or something. On a whim, I decided to try and see if I could construct a cast listing out of the people I know that would fit the Megatokyo cast. Here are the results:
Piro: j0. I get tongue-tied around women, I can't make a decision to save my life, although I won't read the whole shojo manga section to try and solve my problems, I will try and find something that matches my scenario. I've got a lot of Piro characteristics in me, which might ultimately turn out to be to my advantage, but screws me over badly in the short run.
Largo:uncle_pervy. No doubt about it. Although he doesn't have the l337 h4X0rm45t3r skillz, he's got everything else, really. Loud, brash, gamer-type who should have broken limbs with the way his mind works.
Hayasaka Erika:miyabiarashi. Tough as nails, doesn't take shit from anybody, and would thrash Largo any time she had the chance and the provoked her. Attractive to a large spectrum of the population.
The Schoolgirl Triad (Asako, Yuki, and Mami?): Three of the trombone section freshmen girls - J, A, and V. Right attitude, hang together well, generally think of Piro as a little strange.
Toya Miho: One of the senior trombone girls - M. Switches between darkly cute and Queen of the Zombies in a flash - although she doesn't have the costuming tendencies of Miho, she's also the kind of person I can see doing the Cave of Evil thing. It's a little looser connection, but it does exist enough for me to put her there.
Dom and Ed:kaijumaster and neoboy3000, respectively. If you've ever been around these two, you understand immediately why I say this. Just believe me on this one.
Ping-chan: Who would I put as a PS2 accessory that's supposed to help Piro learn to go after real girls? That might actually have feelings for him as well? Maybe some amalgamation of a lot of the females that I know. Which is what Ping would end up being, anyway - an amalgamation of dating sim and visual novel girls. So I can't point specifically to one person here.
Junpei: The trombone drum major from a couple years ago. He's got the skillz, he's got the attitude, and he's got the ninja ability to kick your ass. He might even pick up a trick or two from our Largo, but you never know.
Seraphim: Conscience? Heh... I've probably got Boo. No, this one's not filled yet. I don't have a Seraphim. If the CEA would be so kind as to send one my way sometime soon, that might be nice.
Inspector Sonoda: I'd say whatever grad staffer is on reserve duty in any given week. Got the tech, got no clue how to be effective with it.
Asmodeus: I'd say something about being my own worst enemy, but the closest thing I had to a conscience's nemesis would be some of my older sister's friends - J and C and roommate N and others who made it their mission to try and corrupt me.
Nanasawa Kimiko: Actually... this one's kinda hard, probably the hardest to try and cast. The shy, attractive to Piro, yet steely when pushed personality... I'd say someone who was in a class or two above me, N. (And she'd probably be weirded out a bit if she knew that I thought that way of her.)
If I've missed any of the major cast, let me know - if you've got ideas for the other potentially minor cast members, then let me know.
Out of that thought came things like yesterday's thoughts about the Impostor's Syndrome and some other material like the stuff to follow. Since it's really me talking to me, it can probably be best played-out as a conversation between the various entities inside my brain. I have no idea who's speaking in the not-me cast, so you'll have to try and puzzle it out yourselves. If you think you can transcribe the various speakers, do let me know.
Self, you've got a lot going for you. You're probably suffering from a mild case of Impostor-ness.
Possibly severe case, if it has anything to do with your dating prospects.
Well, yeah, but something like that magnifies my social anxiety. Screwing up in a crowd isn't nearly as bad as screwing up when it comes to dating. The attachments are different.
You're just afraid of being seen as imperfect. In dating, you expose a certain vulnerability by nature. If you don't mesh, you'd take it as your imperfection, not your incompatibility.
Well, yeah. Incompatibility might imply imperfection no my part, since it means that I can't be perfect to someone. It would feel like a failure.
It is a failure, but it's a molehill, rather than the Everest you seem to be turning it into. Lots of people have rejections every single day. At the same time, lots of people find the person who's just right for them every day as well.
What you seem to be missing is that you have a rather large pool to choose from. If one isn't suited to you, then you can choose another.
Yeah, but I seem to have this ability to befriend people who are already attached to other people. Reduces your dating prospects if the only people that you are friends with are dating other people. Besides, I don't have the skills to be able to tell if someone's single. And I'd be really embarrassed asking someone who's already dating to go on a date with me.
There's also that rejection you already got.
We'll get back to that. There's a more fundamental problem behind it - the inability to determine whether someone's hitting on me. I might have had numerous suitors (hey, this is a hypothetical - a guy can dream, right?)
There's one of those problems surfacing again. No confidence.
Getting there. Anyway, if I had people hitting on me, I'm generally oblivious to it. Doesn't help my chances much.
I think you could be a little miffed that both of your sisters are dating, and that you never got to experience the Tour fling, either.
There's that, too. When you see those sorts of things happening around you, and you're not involved in it somehow, it's a rather pissy feeling. Lowers your self-worth considerably. Especially when you're already on the fringe of the constructed society. High school sucks, okay? Some people go through it without problems, as part of a popular group, and the only thing they have to worry about is what the next issue of Cosmo tells them, or what the next game's going to be like. There are others who go through it trying to learn something, and others who just try to survive it.
Easy, killer. We know, remember? We were there, experiencing it with you. Even if we weren't as fully developed as we are now. We know, just as well as you do.
Yeah. Sorry. I get carried away sometimes.
We've noticed. You're usually pretty level-headed, though, even when you're out in rant mode.
Anyway. So I finally screwed up enough courage to tell someone what I thought of them... well, the timing on it was probably the worst, especially since she had said rather explicitly that she wasn't considering anybody for prospects. That said, she was going somewhere, and I did want to be honest with her. Screwed up a good friendship by doing that. Still hurts.
So it was a less than auspicious start for you. Not everybody gets it on their first try. But you did what you usually do when you get hurt - you withdrew.
You're still sore on that point... and you use it as an excuse not to go looking, along with studies and other semi-plausible excuses.
What do you expect? Given the situation and lack of skills I've described, what can I do about it? I tend to make friends more than dates.
That's not a bad quality.
No, not really, but it does lead to a particular level of frustration. I can be a sounding board about issues, and have discussions about the nature of these sorts of things, but there's no hypothetical that ever comes around that says, "Say I wanted to date you...." I've spent much more time talking about love than experiencing it. I've watched as people date, break up, and date again.
There are some who stuck with their first date so far.
You're not helping. The point is, they are dating. I am not. I wonder whether this implies a certain lack of maturity on my part as to why I'm not dating.
Could be the other way around.
I'd believe that in high school. Nothing there is necessarily slated to continue or be very mature. Here in college, though, that rule doesn't apply anymore. Since the problem doesn't seem to be about a lack of availability or of potential, I conclude that there is a deficiency inside me somewhere that's preventing this whole thing from moving forward.
Could be she's not here. Your dream gal might not be in this act.
That's about the only hope I have left, is that this is just waiting for someone. Anyone making a Godot reference will be shot on sight.
I'd say that's probably more exposition than your audience ever wanted to know. You've got your point across. Now, perhaps, you'll receive sage wisdom from your readership.
Either that, or a lot of sarcasm and derision.
Shut up. You're still not helping.
There's lots of interesting science on the way - like this exoskeleton. The name could have used a little work, though. I guess it won't be sold to anyone by the name of Dave. The Zombie Synchronicity continues, as well - a Zombie Survival Guide crossed my desk today, with a plethora of links to other materials. Should we ever have a Day of the Dead, perhaps we'll be able to keep the losses down, since everyone will know what to do.
In political science, it appears that we really don't care about the issues at all. Well, not most of them, anyway. We might also want to keep an eye on the repetition of certain words by peoples in authority - it's rather probably that their truths and ours don't line up - but they'll want to enforce the idea that their truths are absolutely always true. Keep in mind a potentially Discordian maxim - "All things are true, false, and meaningless at the same time."
Speaking of people who want to wield the power to define truth, the newest Pope has expressed his disapproval of a bill in Spain that would both legalize marriage between homosexuals and give those couples the right to adopt. Notice the position being taken... that Roman Catholic officials should be prepared to "lose their jobs" rather than to let such a thing pass or enforce it. This is the same stance of someone who worked out a way to deny any pro-choice person Communion and then wanted to ensure that the priests did, indeed, do just that. The Inquisition has arrived, ladies and gentlemen of the Catholic faith, and it looks like their intent is to cleanse the church of errant thinkers as well as try to undermine the secular governance of nations. They can just do it from the Pope's office as well as their own, now. Catholics might be getting a firsthand account of what it feels like to have been a liberal over the last four years as well as these four.
Shifting gears, I had a stray thought enter my head yesterday, when I commented to
uncle_pervy that I was Piro to his Largo in our friendship, especially in our relations to c|-|1X0r5. And then, well, the cast developed a bit, or something. On a whim, I decided to try and see if I could construct a cast listing out of the people I know that would fit the Megatokyo cast. Here are the results: Piro: j0. I get tongue-tied around women, I can't make a decision to save my life, although I won't read the whole shojo manga section to try and solve my problems, I will try and find something that matches my scenario. I've got a lot of Piro characteristics in me, which might ultimately turn out to be to my advantage, but screws me over badly in the short run.
Largo:
uncle_pervy. No doubt about it. Although he doesn't have the l337 h4X0rm45t3r skillz, he's got everything else, really. Loud, brash, gamer-type who should have broken limbs with the way his mind works. Hayasaka Erika:
miyabiarashi. Tough as nails, doesn't take shit from anybody, and would thrash Largo any time she had the chance and the provoked her. Attractive to a large spectrum of the population.The Schoolgirl Triad (Asako, Yuki, and Mami?): Three of the trombone section freshmen girls - J, A, and V. Right attitude, hang together well, generally think of Piro as a little strange.
Toya Miho: One of the senior trombone girls - M. Switches between darkly cute and Queen of the Zombies in a flash - although she doesn't have the costuming tendencies of Miho, she's also the kind of person I can see doing the Cave of Evil thing. It's a little looser connection, but it does exist enough for me to put her there.
Dom and Ed:
kaijumaster and neoboy3000, respectively. If you've ever been around these two, you understand immediately why I say this. Just believe me on this one.Ping-chan: Who would I put as a PS2 accessory that's supposed to help Piro learn to go after real girls? That might actually have feelings for him as well? Maybe some amalgamation of a lot of the females that I know. Which is what Ping would end up being, anyway - an amalgamation of dating sim and visual novel girls. So I can't point specifically to one person here.
Junpei: The trombone drum major from a couple years ago. He's got the skillz, he's got the attitude, and he's got the ninja ability to kick your ass. He might even pick up a trick or two from our Largo, but you never know.
Seraphim: Conscience? Heh... I've probably got Boo. No, this one's not filled yet. I don't have a Seraphim. If the CEA would be so kind as to send one my way sometime soon, that might be nice.
Inspector Sonoda: I'd say whatever grad staffer is on reserve duty in any given week. Got the tech, got no clue how to be effective with it.
Asmodeus: I'd say something about being my own worst enemy, but the closest thing I had to a conscience's nemesis would be some of my older sister's friends - J and C and roommate N and others who made it their mission to try and corrupt me.
Nanasawa Kimiko: Actually... this one's kinda hard, probably the hardest to try and cast. The shy, attractive to Piro, yet steely when pushed personality... I'd say someone who was in a class or two above me, N. (And she'd probably be weirded out a bit if she knew that I thought that way of her.)
If I've missed any of the major cast, let me know - if you've got ideas for the other potentially minor cast members, then let me know.
Out of that thought came things like yesterday's thoughts about the Impostor's Syndrome and some other material like the stuff to follow. Since it's really me talking to me, it can probably be best played-out as a conversation between the various entities inside my brain. I have no idea who's speaking in the not-me cast, so you'll have to try and puzzle it out yourselves. If you think you can transcribe the various speakers, do let me know.
Self, you've got a lot going for you. You're probably suffering from a mild case of Impostor-ness.
Possibly severe case, if it has anything to do with your dating prospects.
Well, yeah, but something like that magnifies my social anxiety. Screwing up in a crowd isn't nearly as bad as screwing up when it comes to dating. The attachments are different.
You're just afraid of being seen as imperfect. In dating, you expose a certain vulnerability by nature. If you don't mesh, you'd take it as your imperfection, not your incompatibility.
Well, yeah. Incompatibility might imply imperfection no my part, since it means that I can't be perfect to someone. It would feel like a failure.
It is a failure, but it's a molehill, rather than the Everest you seem to be turning it into. Lots of people have rejections every single day. At the same time, lots of people find the person who's just right for them every day as well.
What you seem to be missing is that you have a rather large pool to choose from. If one isn't suited to you, then you can choose another.
Yeah, but I seem to have this ability to befriend people who are already attached to other people. Reduces your dating prospects if the only people that you are friends with are dating other people. Besides, I don't have the skills to be able to tell if someone's single. And I'd be really embarrassed asking someone who's already dating to go on a date with me.
There's also that rejection you already got.
We'll get back to that. There's a more fundamental problem behind it - the inability to determine whether someone's hitting on me. I might have had numerous suitors (hey, this is a hypothetical - a guy can dream, right?)
There's one of those problems surfacing again. No confidence.
Getting there. Anyway, if I had people hitting on me, I'm generally oblivious to it. Doesn't help my chances much.
I think you could be a little miffed that both of your sisters are dating, and that you never got to experience the Tour fling, either.
There's that, too. When you see those sorts of things happening around you, and you're not involved in it somehow, it's a rather pissy feeling. Lowers your self-worth considerably. Especially when you're already on the fringe of the constructed society. High school sucks, okay? Some people go through it without problems, as part of a popular group, and the only thing they have to worry about is what the next issue of Cosmo tells them, or what the next game's going to be like. There are others who go through it trying to learn something, and others who just try to survive it.
Easy, killer. We know, remember? We were there, experiencing it with you. Even if we weren't as fully developed as we are now. We know, just as well as you do.
Yeah. Sorry. I get carried away sometimes.
We've noticed. You're usually pretty level-headed, though, even when you're out in rant mode.
Anyway. So I finally screwed up enough courage to tell someone what I thought of them... well, the timing on it was probably the worst, especially since she had said rather explicitly that she wasn't considering anybody for prospects. That said, she was going somewhere, and I did want to be honest with her. Screwed up a good friendship by doing that. Still hurts.
So it was a less than auspicious start for you. Not everybody gets it on their first try. But you did what you usually do when you get hurt - you withdrew.
You're still sore on that point... and you use it as an excuse not to go looking, along with studies and other semi-plausible excuses.
What do you expect? Given the situation and lack of skills I've described, what can I do about it? I tend to make friends more than dates.
That's not a bad quality.
No, not really, but it does lead to a particular level of frustration. I can be a sounding board about issues, and have discussions about the nature of these sorts of things, but there's no hypothetical that ever comes around that says, "Say I wanted to date you...." I've spent much more time talking about love than experiencing it. I've watched as people date, break up, and date again.
There are some who stuck with their first date so far.
You're not helping. The point is, they are dating. I am not. I wonder whether this implies a certain lack of maturity on my part as to why I'm not dating.
Could be the other way around.
I'd believe that in high school. Nothing there is necessarily slated to continue or be very mature. Here in college, though, that rule doesn't apply anymore. Since the problem doesn't seem to be about a lack of availability or of potential, I conclude that there is a deficiency inside me somewhere that's preventing this whole thing from moving forward.
Could be she's not here. Your dream gal might not be in this act.
That's about the only hope I have left, is that this is just waiting for someone. Anyone making a Godot reference will be shot on sight.
I'd say that's probably more exposition than your audience ever wanted to know. You've got your point across. Now, perhaps, you'll receive sage wisdom from your readership.
Either that, or a lot of sarcasm and derision.
Shut up. You're still not helping.
no subject
Of course, seculary, as in legally, the opinion of the catholic church is not important at all. Legally you still can do it (and will). Just don't expect approval from the catholic church.
Maritza
CRFH.net
no subject
My Dear Friend:
How can you expect yourself to land a catch when you doubt what you are or what you have to offer? You have brains, a great personality and loyalty to a fault. Remember the axiom "Women date the bad boys, marry the good guys." If you want one enough, you'll get a relationship. Instead of finding your self-worth and value through others, you need to be confident with yourself. Fuck getting a woman at this point and time, your head's not in the game and that's why you're missing the passes from teh QB. Think about your sisters...you and I both know that they're sure of themselves and know what they want, and usually get it. Am I right?
If it takes time, then so be it. Get your degree, get the job you want, make the life you want FOR YOURSELF! Once you have that, the confidence you bring to a potential relationship will show through and the ball'll start rolling. As to you maybe missing the hit-ons: That's due to you not having been actively listening for them, but that's a moot point unless you get your head out of the sand, pull yourself up by your bootstraps and stop FUCKING SULKING!
I love you more than a brother, and I do care about you bud. I'm only being harsh like this because I'm not going to sugarcoat this from you but Damn it you need to get your head in the game first before you can go out and catch the Hail Mary pass and do your own Immaculate Reception. Set a plan of attack and follow it step by step. What's the sense of dating unless you're planning to:
A:) Get Laid
B:) Get a relationship that'll last
C:) Both A and B
I can only hope you read this and take this as the written "Boot in the Ass" that it is and not degrading you.
Re: My Dear Friend:
Told you he was Largo to my Piro. Besides, he's right. I've got a lot of self-doubt.
So that's why we rarely ever have any? You're hoarding, you bastard.
We should beat you up for that, you know.
Later, okay? Besides, I'm getting better at being more confident again. Might be that whole degree thing. The self-confidence is there, in certain places.
So start extending that out more. You seem to like to avoid letting your strengths spill over. Take his advice, for once.
I'll try.
Don't make me go Yoda on your ass.