Silver Adept (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
silveradept) wrote2013-02-03 02:28 pm
silveradept) wrote2013-02-03 02:28 pm
Entry tags:
A Shadow Idol Twofer : The Chronicles of S / Toss 'em back.
Shadow Idol: The Chronicles Of S
Am I mentally disordered? No, we're fine. Why do you ask?
Well, at least I'm pretty sure we're okay. The DSM may disagree, of course, and it did up until very recently if you were gay or lesbian. I'm not entirely sure what it thinks about being trans*, and whether certain aspects of that identity are considered "disordered". The other letters of the QUILTBAG acronym could be there, too. We're slowly purging those items out, as more and more people demonstrate that they are quite normal and acceptable and advocate for the removal of stigma from their lives.
There's still a ways to go, of course. I'm sure the therians, the Otherkin, and a large amount of the multiple community are seen as "disordered" first, but there are more living those identities in the open and proving they are also just fine.
Kinky folk are becoming less closeted as well, although there's still a lot of kink-shaming and potential legal consequences to being kinky in the wrong environments, even if it is between two (or more) adults of the age of consent in private space (echo, echo, echo...). The wild success of Fifty Shades Of Grey suggests there's an appetite for things that look kinky on the surface, so there's some amount of shifting away from the idea that one doesn't talk about these things in polite company.
Science is helping us, too, pointing out neurochemical imbalances, under or over-developed brain regions, and a greater understanding of how environments have profound effects on people. We're getting a better understanding of what constitutes the things we consider "craziness".
Now, there's always something at the back of the brain telling us we're not good people, that we don't create, and that a do more harm than good on balance, because we can't be everything to everyone. There's the overarching worry that we will fail - by not making enough money, because of the caprice of a manager, because significant people in our lives are mad at us, however temporarily, or that we'll say something stupid and alternate ourselves from people we consider friends. These are not signs of mental disorder, of course because they don't have physical effects on us. (Almost. Because of the Capricious Manager and the Time Of Nearly Certain Doom, we still get triggered whenever the manager wants to talk to us, and there has to be a very stern internal fight to avoid careening over the edge into unnecessary worries.)
If I were properly honest, I'd probably have to admit that I show signs of depression. Or anxiety. Or both. And maybe other things, too. So, maybe not everything is all okay. But we're not mentally I'll, honest. I'm just fine, and most days it doesn't bother me consciously. So, am I crazy? Nah.
But don't mistake that for meaning that I'm completely okay.
This has been an entry for Shadow Idol, topic one: Am I Crazy?
----
There's a joke that I heard several years ago - it had both a misogynist and misandrist version, but the basic gist of it is that there's a department store where one can go to get a partner. It's laid out much like a multilevel Swedish Furniture Store - as you go forward, you cannot go back. The opening floors contain partners that are singly either brilliant, perfect physical specimens, or fabulously wealthy. The theoretical shopper looks over the merchandise and decides to go up a floor, where there are partners that embody two of the three traits. The shopper looks over these partners and decides to go up a floor. On the next-to-top floor, there is a small amount of partners that are all three of these attributes - fabulously wealthy, incredibly attractive, very smart, the closest thing to perfection that humans could get. Despite all this, the theoretical shopper goes to the top floor.
...it's empty, but for a sign. The sign says "You're never satisfied, are you? You had the option to have wonderful partners, but you kept going on, looking for something better. Now you're here at the top, and there's nothing for you, because nobody's perfect.
By the way, you're the [LARGE NUMBER] visitor here. Have a nice day."
It's the same idea in the story of the Three Billy Goats Gruff. The first goat says "You don't want shrimp. Throw the small one back and go fish for something bigger." The second goat says, "You don't want small fry. Throw the small one back and go fish for something bigger." And then comes the big goat, who turns out to be ornery and strong. The troll went fishing for the big one and then lost his line, his pole, and himself in the ocean.
It's a decision-making game every time - how far out do you go and risk, knowing that going too far will result in losing everything? And why do we have so many characters that seem to be on a line that insists you must trade in size if you want to gain cleverness? Mabela the Clever is the smallest of the mice. Anansi is a spider. Luke is short for a stormtrooper, and I think Kanbei is the shortest of the seven. Then there's the trope of the Big Dumb Muscle. And isn't akido or judo a really good art for someone small to use?
So I guess the strategy of throwing back the small ones seems to benefit everyone in their own way. How weird the world is.
This has been an entry for Shadow Idol: Toss the small ones back.
Am I mentally disordered? No, we're fine. Why do you ask?
Well, at least I'm pretty sure we're okay. The DSM may disagree, of course, and it did up until very recently if you were gay or lesbian. I'm not entirely sure what it thinks about being trans*, and whether certain aspects of that identity are considered "disordered". The other letters of the QUILTBAG acronym could be there, too. We're slowly purging those items out, as more and more people demonstrate that they are quite normal and acceptable and advocate for the removal of stigma from their lives.
There's still a ways to go, of course. I'm sure the therians, the Otherkin, and a large amount of the multiple community are seen as "disordered" first, but there are more living those identities in the open and proving they are also just fine.
Kinky folk are becoming less closeted as well, although there's still a lot of kink-shaming and potential legal consequences to being kinky in the wrong environments, even if it is between two (or more) adults of the age of consent in private space (echo, echo, echo...). The wild success of Fifty Shades Of Grey suggests there's an appetite for things that look kinky on the surface, so there's some amount of shifting away from the idea that one doesn't talk about these things in polite company.
Science is helping us, too, pointing out neurochemical imbalances, under or over-developed brain regions, and a greater understanding of how environments have profound effects on people. We're getting a better understanding of what constitutes the things we consider "craziness".
Now, there's always something at the back of the brain telling us we're not good people, that we don't create, and that a do more harm than good on balance, because we can't be everything to everyone. There's the overarching worry that we will fail - by not making enough money, because of the caprice of a manager, because significant people in our lives are mad at us, however temporarily, or that we'll say something stupid and alternate ourselves from people we consider friends. These are not signs of mental disorder, of course because they don't have physical effects on us. (Almost. Because of the Capricious Manager and the Time Of Nearly Certain Doom, we still get triggered whenever the manager wants to talk to us, and there has to be a very stern internal fight to avoid careening over the edge into unnecessary worries.)
If I were properly honest, I'd probably have to admit that I show signs of depression. Or anxiety. Or both. And maybe other things, too. So, maybe not everything is all okay. But we're not mentally I'll, honest. I'm just fine, and most days it doesn't bother me consciously. So, am I crazy? Nah.
But don't mistake that for meaning that I'm completely okay.
This has been an entry for Shadow Idol, topic one: Am I Crazy?
----
There's a joke that I heard several years ago - it had both a misogynist and misandrist version, but the basic gist of it is that there's a department store where one can go to get a partner. It's laid out much like a multilevel Swedish Furniture Store - as you go forward, you cannot go back. The opening floors contain partners that are singly either brilliant, perfect physical specimens, or fabulously wealthy. The theoretical shopper looks over the merchandise and decides to go up a floor, where there are partners that embody two of the three traits. The shopper looks over these partners and decides to go up a floor. On the next-to-top floor, there is a small amount of partners that are all three of these attributes - fabulously wealthy, incredibly attractive, very smart, the closest thing to perfection that humans could get. Despite all this, the theoretical shopper goes to the top floor.
...it's empty, but for a sign. The sign says "You're never satisfied, are you? You had the option to have wonderful partners, but you kept going on, looking for something better. Now you're here at the top, and there's nothing for you, because nobody's perfect.
By the way, you're the [LARGE NUMBER] visitor here. Have a nice day."
It's the same idea in the story of the Three Billy Goats Gruff. The first goat says "You don't want shrimp. Throw the small one back and go fish for something bigger." The second goat says, "You don't want small fry. Throw the small one back and go fish for something bigger." And then comes the big goat, who turns out to be ornery and strong. The troll went fishing for the big one and then lost his line, his pole, and himself in the ocean.
It's a decision-making game every time - how far out do you go and risk, knowing that going too far will result in losing everything? And why do we have so many characters that seem to be on a line that insists you must trade in size if you want to gain cleverness? Mabela the Clever is the smallest of the mice. Anansi is a spider. Luke is short for a stormtrooper, and I think Kanbei is the shortest of the seven. Then there's the trope of the Big Dumb Muscle. And isn't akido or judo a really good art for someone small to use?
So I guess the strategy of throwing back the small ones seems to benefit everyone in their own way. How weird the world is.
This has been an entry for Shadow Idol: Toss the small ones back.