Snowflake Challenge 2022 #12: Starring…

[silveradept]

Challenge #12 asks us to constuct an even more dream cast than aleady happened.

In your own space, tell us who you would recast in a film, TV Series, or webseries, or maybe someone voicing a cartoon or videogame. Or who would you cast to play a chracter in a book, comic, or maybe even your own fiction!

I'll admit, the first time I would think about recasting someone would be if the original casted person turned out to be terrible, or ended up dying and took the media property with them when they did.

Casting for things that haven't happened, though, that's a little bit easier to figure out. Once upon the once upon, Dana Simpson thought that Sarah Vowell had the right kind of delivery to do Millie if Ozy and Millie were ever to be cast as an animated series. We can leave that one alone, but what about the rest of the cast?

• Ozy would need to be someone who can portray a child who takes things as they come and isn't particularly weirded out by anything because he's already seen weirder from his own family. Maybe Jason Ritter, doing something a little more sedate than Dipper Pines gets up to. Maybe John Cho if he can do a convincing child voice, since Ozy's supposed to be a grade-school student.


• Llewellyn, Ozy's adoptive father, would have been best cast by the late Leonard Nimoy, specifically in his "Old Spock/William Bell/Master Xehanort" phase, but alas, we do not have him with us any more (nearly seven years, wow.) But Michael Dorn would also do the role excellently, dispensing wisdom with a voice steeped in Zen and that very well knows just how much he's trolling everyone else, but won't break the kayfabe.


• Ms. Mudd, Millie's mother and long-suffering everything who raised Millie as a single parent, could be cast by Lauen Ash channeling Scorpia (but without the Obfuscating Stupidity Scorpia needed to portray) but would also work equally as well if Vella Lovell were giving us a slightly more grown-up Mermista who has a kid. The right quality for the role is someone who has seen all of those things and is jaded about the world, but still loves and will support her daughter's curiosity and ingenuity, even if it occasionally means having to clean up the aftermath of a particularly well-executed burn by Millie.


• Felicia, the alpha sheep when then goes on a Goth phase? She's written with a Valley Girl accent, but her personality is one where she would sound like a Valley Girl because she's practicing how to do it. Therefore, I would totally cast California native Kaley Cuoco for the role because she would probably be able to turn it up and down as needed.


• To round out the main cast, Avery, the perpetually cool-seeking child, that's probably a job for Dante Basco, who would be directed to put as much effort and emotion into Avery's shallow self-pursuits as he did with Zuko's quest to find the Avatar. (Avery's brother is Dee Bradley Baker, because everyone wants Dee Bradley Baker when it comes to characters that don't fully use language to communicate.)


• If Dana Simpson wanted to do a creator cameo in the series, I would say Dana would voice Ms. Sorkowitz, Ozy and Millie's teacher, or, for a slightly more substantive role, Isolde, Ozy's cousin, reporter for Channel 6 News, and member of the Dragon Conspiracy.

Not that I expect any such animated adaptation to be coming, since most of the effort and marketing is on Dana's current series, Phoebe and her Unicorn, but if things ever happened, and there was enough money to cast all of these stars, that's what I'd go for. (I suspect I'd end up getting one or more of Steve Blum, Tara Strong, Ben Diskin, or Grey DeLisle to help with various other voices and to do one of those roles, because they're in everything.)