silveradept | The Internet Confessional

“Every single person has at least one secret that would break your heart. If we could just remember this, I think there would be a lot more compassion and tolerance in the world.”

I suspect this statement is true. Many of us carry around things inside of us that are traumatic, either to ourselves or to others. Finding someone to confide those traumas and fears in is a large part of our searches for companionship, for love, and for intimate partners. Clergy, especially those of religions where sin is an important thing, are often tasked with the hearing of secrets, and then with the further task of carrying those secrets with them for the rest of their lives. In the places specially designed for the release of secrets, the walls hold the confessions of all types of people. The Internet now makes it possible for one place of secrets to hold the confessions of a multitude worldwide, like PostSecret does.

Not that we ever think the Internet will run out of places for people to post secrets or confessions, but we thought that having a few more spots wouldn’t hurt any. So, for those who wish to unload their hearts or minds, or see what they can craft to shock or elicit sympathy from others, the following is offered:

Post anything that you want here, and post it anonymously. A story, a secret, a confession, a fear, a love, what you think of me, your parents, boyfriend, anything. Just make it honest. Make sure to post anonymously and honestly. Post as many times as you’d like. If you wish, then, put this in your LJ to see what others have to say.

Remember to post anonymously, please. The confessional is ruined if the priest or keeper starts blabbing who it was to others.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I'd be more open to admitting my darkest secrets if you turned off the option that logs the IP address of posters. :)

Oops, nevermind, you can delete these two comments if you please. It looks like it doesn't show up for me, maybe only for you.

It doesn't show up for everyone. Only for the journal owner, and I have no interest or desire to try and convert those IP addresses into anything.

Not that it would tell me anything about you, anyway.

The FAQ on IP logging has more information.

Odds are good that plugging any addresses I have into a lookup will give back an ISP, like comcast.net or att.net or aol.com or something like that. Doesn't tell me anything about who you might be.

Huh...so it IS possible to comment anonymously on blogs that do not require one to register in order to post a comment?

For those blogs that let you comment anonymously, yes. There are ways of turning off the anonymous comments, in case one should spam or flood, trying to knock the blog itself out of kilter.

My deep dark secret: I'm too lazy to log out so this becomes anonymous.

Still not over her. 2190 days and ticking.

And I thought I had it bad. I got sick of that nonsense after a thousand days.

My secret? Hmm... I never had a girlfriend. To date, I never felt myself adequate for such an undertaking. Either I was too poor, too shy, too old, too immature, too undeserving. I didn't realize how wrong I was.

I'm not really insecure. It's just that I don't want to be an asshole. I never wanted to waste someone else's time with someone like me. I've been really poor through most of my life. I'm faring a bit better now, at the cost of some annoying debt, but then time has passed and I'm a bit old now. Perhaps too old for the kind of woman I like. No, I don't mean underage girls. That would be evil.

They say I'm perhaps too nice, and maybe it's true. Meanwhile, girls fall for that kind of man who is attractive and manly and stuff but turns out to be an asshole who treats them badly. Time after time, I see in the news the picture of a very beautiful lady who has been mistreated or even murdered by her boyfriend or husband, and it enrages me.

Nowadays, I feel like I missed many opportunities, to learn things like how to properly approach a lady and such. Long ago I tried, once, and I even got scheduled for a date, but I somehow missed it (hence, and for other reasons, the thousand days process of getting over her).

I've learned a lot of stuff since then, including that bit of knowledge that refuted my earlier theories about how it should be and stuff. I feel it's time to get out from this egg and try again. Who knows...

I'm ugly. I'm genuinely really homely. I've been coasting on personality for years. How the hell have I possibly fooled anyone?

If she does to my friend like she did to you and others, I am afraid that I will have a hard time forgiving you for not being more public about it and enabling her through silence.

I'm not your son, I don't have to deal with your neurotic need for validation and reassurance. It's your own fault you never did anything with your own life that you consider worthwhile other than having kids. They're grown, they're out, find some other fucking thing to occupy your time.

I'm paranoid. I try to vary my routine so that people can't follow me, and I always feel like I'm being watched.

After a lot of thinking, I've come to the conclusion that I've only ever fallen in love with one person. That person never returned those feelings in the slightest, but eventually became friends with me out of what I believe was guilt (I didn't take the turn-down very well, to say the least). We haven't seen each other very much since graduation, but among other things we have discussed what happened before over the occasional chat session. She gets defensive whenever the conversation even so much as flirts with bringing up that subject, though, so I learned to avoid it in order to spare her the trouble. However, I cannot avoid it, and I don't think she can, either. She remembers what happened, and the subtext of my crush saturates any and all of our meetings for both of us. For me, the feeling is disappointment, and I can live with that. However, I don't want to make her life any more complicated and stressful by introducing unneeded awkwardness into her life with my mere presence.

So after a lot of thinking, I've come to the conclusion that the only thing I can do for the woman I love is to not bother her and pray she can find happiness without me, because she could never find happiness with me.

I am in love with a forty-year-old, married man. I am almost twenty years younger than he is. But he looks so much younger. He has two children, and loves them very much. I have never really seen him with his wife, but I assume he loves her, too.
There is no possible good outlook to this. I have been trying so hard to forget. But I have never felt this way about anyone else. I had worked with him once, and adored him, but I was just in high school then--I thought for sure that after six years or so I would be over my girlish admiration. But when I saw him again... it was even worse. All the affection I'd felt for other fellows before that instantly seemed shallow, meaningless.
On the last night of our acquaintance, I said my goodbyes to everyone but him and slipped out early. I cried so hard in my car before I drove home. It was so ugly. I have never cried so hard, so out of control.
I will probably never see him again.

After discovering I had VD, I slept with a woman I hated so much that I wanted to give it to her willfully. This is, on many levels, the most vile act I have ever done.

...and I did it *repeatedly*.

I am consistently happier and more energetic now than I have been, my entire life. I am more able to deal with my problems and have started to realize just how many of them are simple learned helplessness.

I stopped blaming him for leaving me when I found out how miserable he is.

I avoid posting about how in love I am with my mate, because most of the people on my friends list are single and not happy about it.

Is it wrong to be single and *not* to have vile, hateful feelings towards couples? I just go "awww", with maybe a bit of envy, but mostly OMGSoKYOOT! And given my situation I should be a lot more bitter than most.

The Internet Confessional

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