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silveradeptWell, the mysterious Guu Final resurfaced today, on a lark. I saw someone who had produced the fifth and sixth episodes on fansub, and so I watched with interest - I was stopped at Guu Final Four (isn't that a strange thought?) before, and apparently, there's more than just six. So, yay! More of Hale and Guu. Hee-hee-hee.
Another discovery today - that logo problem I had with the Subgenius logo being replaced a long time ago is solved, or at least reasonably so. The group name that came near some of those images - Versificators - has the markers as one of their logos - so they just took out Dobbs’s eyes and replaced with their logo. Strangely enough, this seems a rather appropriate, and even properly Discordian thing to do.
Got my first comment-laded draft back. Ouch. Makes the thing look like a house of cards. Probably a good thing, but it's a bit disheartening to see what you've spent a semester and more working on shredded so easily. I'm also seeing on one of my message boards a trend I'm not necessarily liking, although I can't stop it or put up a good reason for it - just sinister feelings. Lots of topics being started about the nature of debate and universal laws and such, all by one person... with not the best track record for being impartial. I've got the feeling that it's going to be a subtle attempt at trying to get everyone to look at things through their lenses so that we all agree to play by their rules, and then get hustled when they start using tactics that we would normally object to.
But since it's nothing more than vague foreboding at this point, I really can't make a complaint about it. No evidence, ya know, even if it is suspicious. Could just be my prejudices getting in the way, too.
Probably a good thing, since today was supposed to be the worst day of the year. Whether it's right or wrong, I did manage to get away without committing major screw-ups - those seem reserved for days when I'm at work. Although I am looking for some of the pieces that were played at Collage - the ones I liked and marked as such on the program. There was some time for animation as well - this limbo revision state is letting me feel like I can get away with things. I did do some cleaning and rearranging of ,y living space as well - my roommate had a legitimate complaint that my clutter was obstructing the way to the dresser. It was, so I cleaned up - and in the process, decided to skip a seminar on how to recognize depression in other people. When I was feeling it, it might have been better to have it, because it would have been useful, but right now, well, I was going more to identify the signs in myself than to help others, so I suppose it would have still been useful, but I decided, somehow, that cleaning was more important. I also skipped out on an interview session with the membership candidates for KKY - but I've given a lot of interviews already, and there will be opportunities later as well. I did tell them that I worked in a particular spot from 8 to 5 on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and could easily give interviews there (they're usually short interviews, and I can talk while doing other things, most of the time, so it was okay).
This limbo-revision spot, too, seems to let me work more on my current Subreality story, although there's another one already forming in my head that I should start writing about soon - I think I'm getting close to the end of this epic, and could get ready to write a new one in some other direction. I guess I really do like the concept - it lets me interact with my characters when they're not "in character". It's similar to putting the arguments in my head down on paper and giving them a setting to let them play out in. It's similar and yet different from me querying my characters for advice - it feels less like I'm dictating their responses to myself and just letting them talk. The next story's probably going to be about one of those issues that's recently wedged its way into my consciousness. It's all the fault of my subculture class - somehow, my brain has been pried open sufficiently that I can start seeing where these subcultures took offense to the mainstream. It's the mix between seeing the problem and feeling powerless to do anything about it. Our professor's trying to get us over that hump, but I think most of us are skeptical - myself included.
In my case, though, it might be that I'm just used to not seeing results of things. Normally, when I do helpful or virtuous things, it's not for some reward that I envision, and then am disappointed in not receiving. It's usually done because it's the thing I do (Ma taught me well) or because it's a good thing to do. Even then, occasionally I want to see results. The sort of thing like how the person you helped be confident about their singing ability becomes a world-class singer, and you know it's because you helped them? (This sounds familiar. I think I've ranted about this before, in some shape or form, so if this is a repetition, I'm sorry. Means most likely that this is an unresolved issue.) One can do thankless work for a while, but occasionally you just need to see it work once so that you're reassured that things really do work out like that, and that you are making a difference.
Were I Zen, most likely, I wouldn't need such a thing, or I would already know that it worked and had effect. Just proves that I'm still not there yet - or that I'm thinking too much about things again. There's always that possibility. Could use some space where I could just do and not care (my subcultures prof says that college is the place for that) and not have anyone else care, too. Someplace where I could just do whatever and not need to worry about anyone disapproving, even me. And it would be nice to have a lot of time to burn in that place, because there's probably a lot of "Whatever" that I'd need to get through before I could get comfortable with the place.
'Sokay. I'm just finally getting to the truly confused part - it might go away if I get a grad school acceptance letter. Since the future's in doubt, trying to figure out what to do in the future is getting me all weird. Having a plan makes me feel better - but having a plan might also be preventing me from hashing necessary things out with myself. *sigh*. It goes both ways, I suppose. And thus, back to the Subreality Drawing Board...
Another discovery today - that logo problem I had with the Subgenius logo being replaced a long time ago is solved, or at least reasonably so. The group name that came near some of those images - Versificators - has the markers as one of their logos - so they just took out Dobbs’s eyes and replaced with their logo. Strangely enough, this seems a rather appropriate, and even properly Discordian thing to do.
Got my first comment-laded draft back. Ouch. Makes the thing look like a house of cards. Probably a good thing, but it's a bit disheartening to see what you've spent a semester and more working on shredded so easily. I'm also seeing on one of my message boards a trend I'm not necessarily liking, although I can't stop it or put up a good reason for it - just sinister feelings. Lots of topics being started about the nature of debate and universal laws and such, all by one person... with not the best track record for being impartial. I've got the feeling that it's going to be a subtle attempt at trying to get everyone to look at things through their lenses so that we all agree to play by their rules, and then get hustled when they start using tactics that we would normally object to.
But since it's nothing more than vague foreboding at this point, I really can't make a complaint about it. No evidence, ya know, even if it is suspicious. Could just be my prejudices getting in the way, too.
Probably a good thing, since today was supposed to be the worst day of the year. Whether it's right or wrong, I did manage to get away without committing major screw-ups - those seem reserved for days when I'm at work. Although I am looking for some of the pieces that were played at Collage - the ones I liked and marked as such on the program. There was some time for animation as well - this limbo revision state is letting me feel like I can get away with things. I did do some cleaning and rearranging of ,y living space as well - my roommate had a legitimate complaint that my clutter was obstructing the way to the dresser. It was, so I cleaned up - and in the process, decided to skip a seminar on how to recognize depression in other people. When I was feeling it, it might have been better to have it, because it would have been useful, but right now, well, I was going more to identify the signs in myself than to help others, so I suppose it would have still been useful, but I decided, somehow, that cleaning was more important. I also skipped out on an interview session with the membership candidates for KKY - but I've given a lot of interviews already, and there will be opportunities later as well. I did tell them that I worked in a particular spot from 8 to 5 on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and could easily give interviews there (they're usually short interviews, and I can talk while doing other things, most of the time, so it was okay).
This limbo-revision spot, too, seems to let me work more on my current Subreality story, although there's another one already forming in my head that I should start writing about soon - I think I'm getting close to the end of this epic, and could get ready to write a new one in some other direction. I guess I really do like the concept - it lets me interact with my characters when they're not "in character". It's similar to putting the arguments in my head down on paper and giving them a setting to let them play out in. It's similar and yet different from me querying my characters for advice - it feels less like I'm dictating their responses to myself and just letting them talk. The next story's probably going to be about one of those issues that's recently wedged its way into my consciousness. It's all the fault of my subculture class - somehow, my brain has been pried open sufficiently that I can start seeing where these subcultures took offense to the mainstream. It's the mix between seeing the problem and feeling powerless to do anything about it. Our professor's trying to get us over that hump, but I think most of us are skeptical - myself included.
In my case, though, it might be that I'm just used to not seeing results of things. Normally, when I do helpful or virtuous things, it's not for some reward that I envision, and then am disappointed in not receiving. It's usually done because it's the thing I do (Ma taught me well) or because it's a good thing to do. Even then, occasionally I want to see results. The sort of thing like how the person you helped be confident about their singing ability becomes a world-class singer, and you know it's because you helped them? (This sounds familiar. I think I've ranted about this before, in some shape or form, so if this is a repetition, I'm sorry. Means most likely that this is an unresolved issue.) One can do thankless work for a while, but occasionally you just need to see it work once so that you're reassured that things really do work out like that, and that you are making a difference.
Were I Zen, most likely, I wouldn't need such a thing, or I would already know that it worked and had effect. Just proves that I'm still not there yet - or that I'm thinking too much about things again. There's always that possibility. Could use some space where I could just do and not care (my subcultures prof says that college is the place for that) and not have anyone else care, too. Someplace where I could just do whatever and not need to worry about anyone disapproving, even me. And it would be nice to have a lot of time to burn in that place, because there's probably a lot of "Whatever" that I'd need to get through before I could get comfortable with the place.
'Sokay. I'm just finally getting to the truly confused part - it might go away if I get a grad school acceptance letter. Since the future's in doubt, trying to figure out what to do in the future is getting me all weird. Having a plan makes me feel better - but having a plan might also be preventing me from hashing necessary things out with myself. *sigh*. It goes both ways, I suppose. And thus, back to the Subreality Drawing Board...
