No more! No more!

[silveradept]

Nothing left to do for undergraduate coursework! Last paper turned in, last final taken! No more, no more! w00t! Or something. So, assuming nothing horribly screws up, Graduation the First will take place Friday/Saturday, early in the morning (on both days).

Staring me in the face are three days of stuff at work. The load's probably going to be a bit light, so good work-safe means of killing a little time over the next few days will be appreciated. And the computer I'm using is a little light on the RAM, so nothing really heavy there. Perhaps I'll devote my time to making a perpetual motion machine. There's always Spamusement, of course. (Illustrated spam subject lines.)

I don't know if the reasoning's any good, but someone may have found the mother of all UFO tales. Genealogically speaking, that is.

And then there's the solar powered scooter. Surprisingly enough, the guy's in Michigan, where some days the sun don't shine. But apparently things work well enough when the weather will permit the scooter that he can run it sufficiently. Kudos to him. Having one of those would be interesting.

Thanks for the people who wouldn't put up with my angsting the other day(s). Occasionally I need to be slapped around a bit when I get depressive and moody. You'll probably need to come around again in about six months or so, but I appreciate your willingness to haul me out of the pit. I'm not going back there, but I was thinking a bit today in a more general way, so if this sounds like more, it's not. I think.

There are few things that bring out my somewhat reserved opinion of myself than staring in the mirror. Usually shirtless when I'm contemplating these things, actually. Now, I wouldn't necessarily describe myself as attractive, but I'm a bit handicapped in that particular respect, in that I have no idea really what women go for in men's body types. Were I to compare myself to say, Fabio, I'd lose. But that would be like comparing any of the attractive women in the marching band to pornography stars. It's not fair to do so - bit of an apples and oranges problem.

Anyway - perhaps I have the requisite broadness of shoulders, but I also happen to have a prominent collarbone, and I'm not much for padding - rather bony all over, really. Marching band has probably given me a bit more strength in both arms and legs than might be visible at first. So, I'd probably describe my body type as wiry. Now, according to media images, wiry body types are not what women are searching for. However, since the media tends to like both exaggeration and outright fabrication, there isn't enough salt in the world to take with those images. So once again, I'm left without a guide of any sort to make comparisons to.

So this should inspire a legion of self-confidence that I'm just right, right? Well.... no. It's probably tied into the "no girlfriend" thing, and I've already covered that. However, I am okay with being the way I am - there are people who like all sorts of body types in my gender, so there should be some diversity in the other gender. And besides, if the minds click, the bodies shouldn't matter nearly as much.

If that were true, though, then why do I see the other gender obsessing about their presentation to my gender? It can't just be that they've bought into the media imagery. I respect their intelligence more than that. So I wonder what it is that has them doing that. And the point, which is actually the question I jumped to immediately while looking in the mirror was - How many people of my own gender have body issues? I hear about guys having hypermasculinity issues, which seems to be our equivalent of the eating disorder, but that seems more like a composite problem than an individual one.

How many guys wish to be a little more muscular, much like girls might wish to be a bit thinner? Am I stating some truism, and I've really wasted a lot of bits just getting to something that's obvious? And if it's not buying into the media images, then what it is that drives us towards thinking of our bodies as imperfect?

Comments

[blacktigr.livejournal.com]

Me girl. Like brain, body can be variable.

If you don't feel *healthy*, then I'd say workout. If you don't *like* how you look, build muscle the same way I am, lift weights.

Comparing yourself to your subjective view of how other people are more perfect? So unattractive. The biggest draw to Ed is his confidence.

So, in short, it doesn't matter to *me* how you look as long as it doesn't matter to *you* how you look. ;)

[starkruzr.livejournal.com]

"Now, according to media images, wiry body types are not what women are searching for."

Actually, I find as long as you're pretty skinny (i.e. no appreciable "gut") and reasonably good-looking, you can get pretty much any girl you want.

Having any kind of gut or ESPECIALLY even the hint of a double chin appears to reduce your chances drastically so that only mostly unattractive women will want you.

This coming entirely from personal, anecdotal evidence. Grain of salt, etc.

[greyweirdo.livejournal.com]

Nope, I gotta say that a gut doesn't really hurt that much in the landing hotties department.

[greyweirdo.livejournal.com]

But that would be like comparing any of the attractive women in the marching band to pornography stars. It's not fair to do so - bit of an apples and oranges problem.
Yeah those poor porno girls would be totally out of their league! Says the guy with this nutty appreciation for fit and real bodies. Not a big fan of the porno girl really.

Okay as far as wishing to put on a bit more muscle, yeah I'd like to, I'd like to tighten the tummy up a bit, but it's not a huge impediment. I've got a fairly broad pair of shoudlers, but I think the fact that I know the difference between talking and just saying "Gawrsh you shure look perty" helps more than all the broad shoulders or soullful eyes in the world. Some women might be looking for a lumox, but the kind of girl you're actually interested in probably doesn't care that much about it.

[sharkcowsheep.livejournal.com]

You want a smart girl, and smart girls like smart guys who have social graces and don't smell bad. :) How you doing in that department? Pretty well, probably. Everybody's got a different body type she likes but it's really amazing how much leeway a guy gets for being interesting and pleasant.

[silveradept]

That's encouraging to know that my suspicions really are true. I was just wondering how many guys think about their own bodies in relation to trying to find dates. ("Ah, if I were only a bit taller..." sort of stuff)

[silveradept]

Nice riposte. In earlier days of my life, it seemed that the lummoxes never had any trouble finding someone to date, though. For some of them, it couldn't be their brainpower that attracted the women. So perhaps there was a magic body type that worked, or so I thought, in the earlier days of my life.

[silveradept]

And, scarily enough, I don't care. At least for the majority of my existence. At the same time, I don't know whether we're jsut exceptions to the rule or not.

(We've already established the bit about not having confidence, so no need to re-hash that.)

[inspired-writer.livejournal.com]

I may not be the most physically attractive woman in the world, which makes me feel like my comment might not be from someone you would be looking for a comment from, but I just wanted to say that I've never found you unattractive, and were we not so apart distance wise, I would not turn down the offer of a date or five. :)

We all have such questions. It's too bad, in my opinion, that we feel we need to ask them like we do.

[the-entity.livejournal.com]

I always gathered that generally women are far more prone than men to worrying about how they look (with the occasional exception) and the media simply encourages this by setting unrealistic standards - attractive actors, scantily-clothed (if at all) babes being used to sell everything from cars to toasters to mineral water, etc; men get bothered by this as well (I like my face, but I'm not George Clooney), but to a lesser degree. The tendency is natural, but normally we'd compare ourselves (if at all) to the most attractive people in our own social circles - the media gets us instead comparing us to some of the most attractive (or muscular) people in the whole of western civilisation. Plus, the whole packaged ideal of sex, success and beauty as a route to happiness that the media tends to sell, which really exacerbates things.

I myself wouldn't mind being more muscular (and I'm working on it), as I haven't been able to beat my little brother at arm-wrestling since I was about 14 and he was 10; I strongly suspect I couldn't even beat the girl I'm currently pursuing. So for me (probably for a lot of people) it's more a matter of ability and physical power than how I look; muscular appearance matters as an indicator of what I can do, a dislike of the way I look telegraphing the fact I'm a weedy omega male. Not that I want alpha status, but a notch or two below would be nice.

[silveradept]

Thanks for the vote of confidence. I suspect that sort of thought may have been running a bit more through my life than I think - cluelesness is a disadvantage at times...

Explain a bit more about the way we ask our questions - I sense something interesting behind that, and I'm not entirely sure how that statement pans out.

[silveradept]

Right. I pull out the Bullwinkle line ("No doubt about it, I'm going to need a new hat"... err, "Gee, I guess I don't know my own strength") from time to time, because I do have a surprising (to me, anyway) sort of strength every now and then. I don't know if I telegraph Omega status, but I'm not sure I rate much above omicron.

It's true that the media's feeding the sort of body-obsession, and I think, perhaps, that the females are more heavily pressured on it. But I suspect that a lot of guys have those kinds of questions and aren't saying anything because they've been told it's not manly to express those kinds of thoughts, or that thinking about them indicates a sign of unacceptable weakness (non-manliness) that has to be remedied immediately. Usually through pumping iron until you look like Ah-nold.

What makes it so taboo for guys to talk about these kinds of things?

[greyweirdo.livejournal.com]

Well there is a magic body type for some women. But you probably wouldn't be interested in those kind of women.

[the-entity.livejournal.com]

(Belatedly...)

...I have no clue. Guys seem less willing to talk about problems and ask for help than girls, from what I've seen. Plus, talking about how buff you aren't is shameful because it's a problem you could be doing something about, but aren't. If your breasts are too small there's little you can do about it, but talking about how weedy you are, you feel, "well, I could actually do something about it, but haven't".

Well, I do, anyway.

Although I think there's probably more to it than that, because you can't do anything about how well-hung you are, and it's not like guys talk about that all the time either. So, I dunno.

[silveradept]

I dunno about that last bit. There are probably quite a few boasts about how well-hung guys are - and some of them never mention anything about their wang.

[inspired-writer.livejournal.com]

When I spoke of questions we ask, I was referring to those of our physical appearance. We second guess ourselves or become so dissatisfied so easily, when there really is no need to be. Nobody is perfect and all of us have blemishes inwardly and outwardly. We just choose whether or not to have them affect us in negative or positive ways.

In my opinion, there is a reason that we look as we do. Some physical things can be changed while others cannot. What can always be changed though, is how we precieve ourselves.

And ultimately, how we precieve ourselves is how others will precieve us. If you think you are damn sexy, sure enough, others will too. Funny how that works.