Three Weeks For Dreamwidth: Time To Go

The picture of the prompt, April Moon 2015 #1, is of a pair of sneakers straddling the word "Ciao" in a word balloon. Which brings up some painful memories of a time where I was that close to being told "We don't want you here any more." For reasons that didn't seem serious, or that refused to change in the face of the truth.

Perhaps ironically, I got that kind of dismissal, for reasons that can be as incomprehensible as the others, from places that I would normally do some part of my job. That indirect feedback provoked more direct conversation about skill building and such, and I've been assured that this is not that situation before, but there's been very little acknowledgement of what they think about the situation and a lot more of just getting to solutions. It makes it harder to believe that everything's okay. Because whether or not the situation resolves well depends on other people. That's not a situation I really ever want to be in again, considering how poorly the first one went.

The shoes could also mean someone tarrying at saying goodbye, which is always tough when the goodbye is permanent. You want to both stay right there in the hope that things will reverse and be better, and you want to be very far away from it so that you don't have to see the conclusion when things go bad.

But now, there's just reminders and comparisons. And the knowledge that one day, they'll all be saying "Ciao" to me, too.

Three Weeks For Dreamwidth: Sneezing

April Moon's second image is a flower. I couldn't tell you what it is, but that's because I tend to avoid flowers - many of them smell the same to me, which isn't very pleasant, and most of them tend to make me sneeze. Which makes the Great Outdoors not very appealing to me, and that's before the bugs come out to bite on me. I really don't like the itching and irritation that comes from the mosquitos, and they always find unique places to bite, so as to make it worse and extra aggravating.

The animals also have to be looked after, fed, run outside to eliminate, and have their differences resolved for harmony. Plus sleeping in something that's not quite big enough in places that aren't quite comfortable enough.

It's not so much that I can't have fun outside or camping, just that I know there are certain costs that come with it, and the possible fun has to get over those costs.

I may also be prejudiced against trips to the outdoors because a lot of my formative trips were with the local Boy Scout troop. Who were less about merit badges and building camaraderie between a diverse group and more about being the popular kids hanging out and making fun of those outside their social group. Which my friends and I definitely were, being tech-y and nerdy and interested in science fiction and such. So a lot of those trips later on for me would be going out to do occasional things with the merit badge people and spending a lot of time down at the archery range, because while I'm still not good at it, I do like shooting arrows at targets.

The Boy Scouts were really a means to see friends - maybe if the troop had been more interested in the merits and achievements part, I would have had a better experience. As it was, the national organization's continued stance on excluding gay scouts and gay or lesbian leaders as insufficiently "morally straight" spelled doom for any remaining like I have for them as an organization. Not just because it tripped my social justice tendencies, but because adhering to their morals would have meant giving up dear friends, and I would much rather keep the friends than someone else's moral system.

Which makes it a bit... something that as part of my work, I regularly help troops of Cub and Boy Scouts get acclimated to the resources of the library and show them where to find resources that will help them advance along their own paths of merit. Because we serve everyone, regardless of their personal or institutional beliefs, so long as they follow our rules and don't try to interfere with other people's use.

In the end, I'm pretty sure the Boy Scouts are going to lose. As with all things, though, the arc that bends toward justice always seems to be taking longer to get there than it should.