silveradept | Jan. 23rd, 2020

Challenge #12 asks us to increase the amount of kindness in the world through our actions. This does not have to involve other people or entities.

This challenge can be interpreted in many ways and all of them are valid. Some people go out of their way to open doors, say hello to strangers, give something, take a burden from someone. Some people stroll through people’s Wishlist and grant wishes. [a reference to Challenge #6] Maybe your kindness this year will be to yourself. Maybe you’ll take yourself out for a nice meal, tell yourself how awesome you are in the mirror in the morning.

There's also an explicit disclaimer on the idea that talking about what you are doing ruins the kindness value of it.

Maybe you think your kindnesses have to be selfless or that posting about them will make you feel like you’re bragging. It’s okay, firstly it’s not if it’s an assignment, but more importantly, like all challenges, you only have to do what you are comfortable with. That’s our kindness to you. ♥.

And the whole thing leads with a quote from someone nearly-universally considered to be a kind man, from all those who met him, whether in person or through the television screen.

Imagine what our real neighborhoods would be like if each of us offered, as a matter of course, just one kind word to another person.

--Mister Rogers

It would be been nice to have this challenge coincide with this year's More Joy Day on 17 January, but schedule coordination is always a bear. (And now you know another thing that is all about spreading joy and kindness in the world.)

In terms of being kind to oneself, Challenge #7 was how I did it. Because I know I can wield other people's words against myself when I want to believe that there's no reason for anyone to think positively of me.

I use

awesomeers for accountability, as a daily reminder that there is usually one thing, even in the worst of days, that was a positive thing that happened, and that even if I have to think about it, I can find it.

( More thinking, if you want to subject yourself to this )

Which is to say, the challenge is completed every day, every time I use someone's pronouns correctly, when I thank people for loading and unloading the dishwasher, for making food, and for writing really neat things for me to read. For every time where I fight the weasels off, or when I take time to myself, or even when I tell myself to do something, because if I look like a mediocre white dude, I should have the confidence of one, as well. Because I'm as guilty as others of thinking that kindness needs to be big, and planned, and done selflessly, with no expectation that things will improve or good consequences will redound to me for what I have done.

And it's really kind of others to tell me that I'm wrong when I want to blame myself for everything that goes wrong, or think I'm responsible for the misfortune of others. Old habits die harder, and double-Hufflepuffs can get caught in a trap that says "if only I work harder, then everyone else can be happy." So it can really be kind when someone says "Okay. Have fun." when I say I want to do something for myself.