Take two: The "What Now" phase.

[silveradept]

While I was enjoying the fruits of greyweirdo‘s grilling technique, but before we watched Time Bandits (I think - might have been after Time Bandits. Either way, starkruzr and moltare, that icon makes so much more sense now.), I was lamenting that while I had managed to achieve everything I had strove for fairly quickly, the delay on obtaining a job has annoyed me significantly. From there, though, I think I hit the much more interesting revelation that while I’ve got the degree that I started on the six-year quest for, I don’t particualrly feel any different. While part of that might be because I haven’t had the “relatives-and-friends big celebratory bash” for that graudation yet, a bigger part of it is that I was expecting something out of this. greyweirdo pointed out that up until this point, the sequence had played out pretty well - you do well in each grade to pass on to the next, then do well in high school to get to a good university, then do well in the good university to get to grad school (in my case), and then do well in grad school to get the degree and the job. Had things continued apace, I would probably have had this particular bit later on in life than earlier, but I suspect it would have arrived at some point (my initial guess would be at the point where I mustered sufficient courage to actually explore some fragment of the dating scene).

As greyweirdo put it, “Now what?” So you got the degree, and the good grades, and all that. Now what? After getting a job, now what? Significant other? House? Children? Part of it is anticipating the next stage, and the other part is expecting that after you achieve this milestone, then you’ll be content or important or whatever it is that we’re shooting for. (Buying this thing will solve your problems and fill that empty hole in your life! For 666 easy payments of $666.66! Order yours today!) So, I was expecting some sort of turning-the-corner kind of event, and when it failed to materialize in the way I expected it to, well, now what? I think I keep expecting to see “silveradept finished graduate school! WIS +5, INT +10, CHA -3!” (well, okay, I don’t know if my charisma went down, but some days I wonder...) and that there would be some quest reward at the end (there are, but it’s a subtle set of them, I suspect.) where I got a Big Shiny that proves that I did it. Maybe the diploma counts, maybe not. Would a diploma be a useful artifact for me to equip? I have no idea if “librarian” or “scholar” derives from a wizard-type character who might benefit. Considering history, though, we probably descend from the clerics as clerks, and so would be better suited to wield hammers than books. And now I wonder if Nethack has the “Pinball Wizard” character class. As it is, I’m probably having a milder version of the mid-life crisis at this point in my life. I never know if there ever was a cure to such a thing, perhaps aside from the achievement of nirvana.

So yeah. All’s quiet on the job front, and it’s making the other fronts look around at each other and wonder what they’re supposed to be doing. At some point, I think they turned around and started staring at me and saying, “Well? What now?” I just don’t know if it’s okay to shrug and say “Got me.”

Comments

[greyweirdo.livejournal.com]

You know, when I first looked at it, I real milestone as millstone. After some thought, I'm not convinced my first interpretation was inaccurate.

[silveradept]

I think I agree with that. Although, so long as it hasn't upgraded to albatross status, I think there's hope.

[moltare.livejournal.com]

I made that icon for him :P

[silveradept]

I knew I'd seen it in a couple places. The movie itself didn't necessarily make that much for sense, but it was fun to watch, and now I understand it a bit more.

[2dlife.livejournal.com]

Horray! We can go through our quarter-life crises together! :P

[silveradept]

Hopefully, we come out on the other side okay, then.

[annaonthemoon.livejournal.com]

I think it's fine to say "got me" right now. Heck, I know I'm still thinking it - and supposedly I went through the quarter-life thing a few years ago. I think the important thing is that you aren't giving up. You're still striving for that job, in the field you want. You know what you want to do, and you don't want to take anything that's not it, because you know you won't be happy. That takes courage.

Why do you think your charisma has gone down?

[silveradept]

It's the standard sort of trope - as intelligence goes up, outward/apparent charisma goes down. Could be that really, there's still plenty there, but you wouldn't know it unless you got to know the person well.

[annaonthemoon.livejournal.com]

I see. Well, speaking as someone who knows you pretty well, I don't think your charisma has gone down. And really, my friends wouldn't be telling me how great they think you are, even when you're quiet if you didn't have charisma.

[thewayne.livejournal.com]

Heh. WIS +5. Funny guy.


:-)

(but seriously, you did good getting your edjumication out of the way so quickly. just don't get discouraged if it takes you a while to find a decent job.)

[silveradept]

Well, you do gain wisdom in college and graduate school, even if it isn't the kind of great and wise wisdom that will help in life. It's the kind of wisdom that generally follows "Well, when I'm out, I'm never doing that again - it sucked."

The Joy of a Quarter Life Crisis

[(Anonymous)]

From GwenOphelia:

I spent probably a year and a half out of school feeling rather aimless. In a bad way, in a way that makes you look at yourself rather meanly in the mirror. I had worked my whole life to get my degree - once I had it, I didn't know what to do with myself. Big life goal achieved - now what?

So fear not, you're not the only one. I felt the way you do. And it gets better. It's a relief when you get a job (job hunting sucks, there's just no way around it), but don't put your life on hold until you get a job. You are still a wonderful and worthwhile person even if you don't have a set contribution to make during the day to society. It's tough to live with (I feel you and I are pretty much the same in our need to be doing something productive and useful and valuablle every day), but it's not permanent.

And I have to confess, even once I had a job, I still had a major quarter life crisis. I changed significant others, location I lived, job...cleaned house. And am much happier for it. Even when you think you're set, you're not always set, so just enjoy where you're at each individual day. Life after college is a whole new ball game, and it takes some getting used to. Feel free to consult all of us that are slightly farther along in the chutes and ladders game whenever you need to. And welcome to the club :-)