Journal Games: Gendered Language and Character Descriptions

[silveradept]

A couplethings that I should probably just stash all in one place that are all journal games:

Let's start with gendered language address:

It/It's

I am an animate object possessed of a sense of self, thank you.

She/her

Those are not the pronouns I use nor the identity that I claim, although I've been told that I write like someone who would.

He/Him

I will answer to those because even though it's wrong, I am enough of a weirdo that someone who thinks of me that way is likely to have their horizons expanded about what kind of things are possible from that gender.

They/them

Correct and preferred, thank you.

Neopronouns

I don't use them, as they don't fit right, but I certainly would like to see them used more if they fit for people.

Mr.

Same as with he/him. I will answer to it because it is often easier to get what you want by ignoring the gendering and focusing on what matters, but it is wrong.

Mx.

Generally correct, but there are more appropriate honorifics to use.

Miss

I do not identify as a woman, so this does not work.

Ms.

SEE "Miss"

Ma'am

SEE "Ms."

Sir

In very specific contexts, a correct title to use, but in most cases, it is wrong because it is not being used in the sense of a person with dignity and gravitas who respects another, but instead as a placating gesture or a customer-service tic.

Mistress

Excuse you, all of my liaisons are above-board and communicated.

Master

That is actually the most correct title to use for me, as I have achieved the requisite degree for it, but, understandably, there are very few people who would be willing to do it.

Teacher

Do not call me this, especially not when I am performing my professional duties. I am glad if someone learns a thing, but I am not trained as a teacher.

Doctor

I have not attained the requisite education for this title.

Captain

I am not commissioned as any officer in the armed services, nor do I have a ship to command.

Reverend

Not ordained as a clergyperson to be a Reverend. I do still have my pope card, however, so I can speak ex cathedra if needed.

Chief Diagonal Pumpkin Non-Hoppotamus Dragony Thingy-Dingy-Flingy

One of the benefits of being a head of state, or so I'm told.

Pal, buddy, friend, comrade, folks, yinz, y'all, citizen, etc.

Some of these are things I will accept and will use as appropriate non-gendered options. Their context is important, however, to determining whether this is a friendly address or a hostile one, as I have been known to use "friend" almost exclusively in a caustic manner.

Dude, bro, bruh

"My dude" has a very specific meaning, and it's not a good one.

Sis, Bro, Cousin, etc.

No, generally, unless you are actually the person who has this familial relationship to me. Or we're on Hawai'i and on good terms with each other, then "cousin," I understand, is an acceptable address.

Boi, Boy, Girl

All gendered. All far too familiar. All wrong.

Lady/ladies

What did the cat do that deserves such a scold?

Hon, sweetie, darling, etc.

I am much more likely to read that patronizingly, unless I know for a fact that it's your specific non-gendered address to everyone.

"Feminine" compliments (pretty, beautiful, etc.)

I've never particularly thought of myself as attractive, so those will probably get you a baffled look.

"Masculine" compliments (handsome, rugged, etc.)

See above, although since I look like a dude, I'm more likely to accept them for the intent they're offering.

"Neutral" compliments (cute, attractive, cool, etc.)

That's more like it. Especially if the ones you are using are about aspects that are not about looks.

Elsewhere, there's a journalmemes prompt, original by extrapenguin that asks about characters. Given a character, I am to provide:

• How I feel about the character
• All of my personal romanic ships for that character
• A romantic One True Pairing (OTP) for that character
• A non-romantic One True Pairing (OTP) for that character
• An opinion about the character [the original says unpopular, but I'm fandom-adjacent, remember, and therefore have zero clue what's popular and what's not.]
• One thing I wish would / did happen to this character in the canon
• One crossover ship with this character
• A headcanon about this character

You are much more likely to get a sensible response if you ask about a character in a work I have seen/listened/read/experienced. Which is sometimes a bit tough to know, but you could probably bang together a rough idea of things through looking at the interests page or the works page for my AO3 account, if you don't know. It's not perfect, because there's a lot I've seen that I haven't written anything for.

Comments

[cmcmck]

She/her does for me as I had quite a fight to possess them!

Funny how 'doctor' gets you a title in English (other half owns it) but 'master' doesn't whereas in German I end up with 'Frau (being married) Magister' while in Italian grade inflation makes him 'Professore' and me 'Dotoressa'. :o)

[silveradept]

Given that the doctorate was initially the license to teach, I'm not surprised that each language has its own way of handling things. It's just interesting that the system used in the States recognizes the difference between a knight bachelor as practitioner, the Magister as an entry into the world of education and research, and the doctorate as not only the license to teach, but the accomplishment of significant research in the field.