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silveradeptI have taken this sad responsibility upon myself, to let you know, that as of a couple weeks ago, lonespark left the company of the living. I was informed of hir death by one of hir partners.
I would be more than happy if it were the case that this was not true, and that ze would appear among us again, perhaps with Esmerelda Weatherwax's most famous quip in tow, but I also believe the person who told me this and know that there's no reason for it to be untrue.
It was a death by hir own decision, and that is all I know, and it reminds me of the time I spent much earlier in life trying to solve problems not of my own making, but whose solutions were discarded because the math did not work out. I don't contemplate those solutions now, because I am happier and more able to manage the more mundane math, now that I'm not trying to support someone who doesn't care.
It is easy to blame yourself for not seeing something that another person is trying to hide. Had I known that the failure to cheerlead ze into a fanwork for the 2020 FTH labor were an indication of something more, perhaps I would have made more effort. But, quite sanely, I assumed that the pandemic had sucked all the creative oxygen out of the room and that ze was focusing on survival. That may yet still be true. All I know is all that I read on hir journal, and I know full well that not everyone documents everything for the consumption of others, even those they consider friends enough to gain access to more privileged writing.
The journal should be in memorial status at this point. There is little left to do but grieve and tell stories of the friendly kraken. If any of you knew ze, and have stories to tell, I will be grateful for them.
lonespark left the company of the living. I was informed of hir death by one of hir partners.I would be more than happy if it were the case that this was not true, and that ze would appear among us again, perhaps with Esmerelda Weatherwax's most famous quip in tow, but I also believe the person who told me this and know that there's no reason for it to be untrue.
It was a death by hir own decision, and that is all I know, and it reminds me of the time I spent much earlier in life trying to solve problems not of my own making, but whose solutions were discarded because the math did not work out. I don't contemplate those solutions now, because I am happier and more able to manage the more mundane math, now that I'm not trying to support someone who doesn't care.
It is easy to blame yourself for not seeing something that another person is trying to hide. Had I known that the failure to cheerlead ze into a fanwork for the 2020 FTH labor were an indication of something more, perhaps I would have made more effort. But, quite sanely, I assumed that the pandemic had sucked all the creative oxygen out of the room and that ze was focusing on survival. That may yet still be true. All I know is all that I read on hir journal, and I know full well that not everyone documents everything for the consumption of others, even those they consider friends enough to gain access to more privileged writing.
The journal should be in memorial status at this point. There is little left to do but grieve and tell stories of the friendly kraken. If any of you knew ze, and have stories to tell, I will be grateful for them.
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Date: 2022-02-14 08:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-02-14 09:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-02-14 09:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-02-14 09:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-02-14 10:23 pm (UTC)No stories. But a prayer, for ze and others:
I pray to the Suicide Dead
You who despaired of life
Driven to end yours for many reasons
May you know peace and joy
I pray to the Suicide Dead
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Date: 2022-02-14 10:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-02-15 12:35 pm (UTC)Holding them in the light.
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Date: 2022-02-15 03:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-02-19 09:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-02-20 12:42 am (UTC)