Two days...

[silveradept]

...until the fun starts. Well, that's not true with the ceremony tomorrow that I'm representing an organization (well, helping to represent an organization) for. That's sufficient matters to trip my brain into actually going, because there's a certain nervousness that I'm feeling going to that particular engagement. I shouldn't be nervous, really, because not everyone there will be one of LGBT (it's open to allies and peoples/organizations recognized, like the one that got the invitation). It's probably good old Catholic fear - actually, that's not true, either. It's an illogical fear that I'm going to be hit on and then have to extricate myself from the situation in a graceful manner. Which is, frankly, silly. And yet I have it all the same. I'm not sure why I would consider it embarrassing, other than as a "blow to my pride" that I project myself as a straight man. Perhaps thinking that somehow being hit on by a gay man implies some sort of unacceptable femininity (that word looks nice on paper but is a beast to say) or lack of testosterone. Like I said, silly and illogical fear. Hopefully it won't affect me tomorrow. That would be the tragedy.

What's worse is that I already know several people who fall under one of the letters of LGBT. And none of them have hit on me, nor have I somehow been unable to stay friends with them once I found out about their orientation. I would think that such an irrational fear would have evaporated in face of this evidence. I shall have to work harder at eradicating my prejudices, I suppose.

A primer for uncle_pervy - How to spot a Discordian. Someone exhorting Unitarians to believe in Jesus definitely does not count. Although the way the speaker goes about it is an interesting concept. Someone who delights in the box trucks of spring is closer to the truth... whatever that may be.

Would appear that the link I pilfered has spread itself out to several branches of my friends, sparking discussions along the way. Whether it be a good thing or a bad thing, it happens. Either I'm on a roll for finding topics that everyone can talk about, or I'm enjoying a spike in popularity right about now. Truth be told, it's probably the spike brought about by coincidence, nothing more. Still, it's as if the universe decided to spin me widdershins for a bit instead of my usual deosil ramblings. Perhaps it's a perspective long sought and finally gained. Whatever it is, it's nice to bask in for a bit. There's the temptation to play to the audience and see if they'll react again to the same thing, but out here on the Internet, you're lucky if a trick works once.

Two days... until the point where we are told "Time to go. You've spent four years here, and you'll have completed a course of study that should make you appealing to a particular field of work. Now, out into the world with you. Put that knowledge to use." My reprieve's only two years, and they'll work me harder for staying on longer. Then, most likely, out into the world with me, to repay my debts and to find somewhere to direct my efforts to. Scary thought. By that time, I hope to have most things taken care of - wage, living space, community, et cetera, so that I can transition smoothly from one world to the next. Beyond that, infinite possibility.

Well, another day at the desk tomorrow, so I think I'll stop here. If there's a nagging question somewhere in my brain, it chooses not to manifest itself at this point. Perhaps another time.

Comments

[starkruzr.livejournal.com]

It's funny. I perceived a shrinking of possibilities the further I proceeded in senior year and beyond.

One of these days you'll have to explain your philosophy to me.

[silveradept]

Eternal optimism, perhaps? A sort of naivete that accompanies my life that suggests that even with preparation for one type of career, fate, fortune, or other such interested entities can provide an opportunity totally unrelated to that training worth pursuing. It might not happen that much to that many people, but it's always possible.

[greyweirdo.livejournal.com]

Truth be told, it's probably the spike brought about by coincidence, nothing more.
*thump thump thump thump CLANG!* Ah my frying pan, my trusted comrade.

See, ya gotta accept that you said some shit that got people talking. Quit robbing yourself of your accomplishment.

[silveradept]

Ouch. Old habits die harder, I guess. But this is why I wanted a trusty frying pan brigade. Really, though, all I did was link to someone else in the latest... and I think some of that other stuff has been kicked around for years by various people. Doesn't feel right to claim credit for it.

But again, that's why I have the frying pan corps.