A little more of the talking...
Sep. 16th, 2005 10:42 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
silveradeptToday was a reasonably good day. I tried to accomplish some work, only to find the doors locked. I shall have to try again on Monday to see if I can gain entry to the place where I said I would write my report on. In the meantime, however, I kept myself busy doing other work. (I love my university - there's always something else you can be doing.) Decided to take a little time off to watch some footie - our women did well, notching five in the net to giving up three. 'Twas entertaining, shall we say - was sitting one bleacher across from field hockey players and softball players. (I love my university - seriously, this time - because that sort of thing happens. You can be sitting next to other athletes in class or at sports. You might not even know it, unless, ya know, you were a bleacher down from the player that hit the home run that won the national championship in softball. I think it was her, anyway.) There was also a fan who had too much to drink, but he was perfectly willing to lead cheers and such. So we played along. Think I might have recruited a couple more people for the volleyball student section, too. And there was the usual nonsense being perpetrated in the name of a day where I have no lectures. Admittedly, not so much in terms of nonsense-silly, but nonsense-work. Once again, I love my university.
Bee Magic. It doesn't make sense, it's not supposed to make sense, but there's still something really weird about that picture. Braaaaaaaaains.
There was also a page that someone put up that culled out useful information on how to disappear into society. Ostensibly for those fleeing abusive situations, as several times it was stressed that if you're running from the law or the government, that they're going to get you at some point. It would be more for people who are trying to run away from something that has limited resources and manpower. It was effective advice, as best as I could tell, but that makes me think about the free and open nature of the Internet, of sorts. Some things must co-exist that are antithetical to each other, simply because neither poses a danger great enough to call for its head from an outside observer. Of course, one might chuckle about the nonexistence of such a thing as a "neutral observer", but I think that's a different discussion.
Especially if people think that someone who can't be arsed to pronounce things properly (oh, yeah, and believes some sort of bastardized Dominionism) counts as "the no spin zone". If you're curious as to what they're all about, check out twelve reasons why marriage is sacred. It'll tell you more about the people who shout loudest than most things.
Lastly, I'd been warned of his coming, but it appears that I'm going through a "Characters talk to me" phase.
"I'm not completely a character, by the way. I'm more of an independent entity than the others.
"That may be true, but you're still associated with me. So you could just be another of my semi-autonomous fragments of personality."
"Right. That's not the important part. I'm supposed to either inflate your sense of self-worth or pose more wrangling, koan-like questions. Dragon wisdom and all that."
"I see. So I should expect to be confused, or should I just expect some very nonsense-contest worthy phrasing?"
"Got me. But let's see where it goes, hey?"
"Works for me. So what's the first topic?"
"First, I might note that things appear to be progressing ever-sillier, the more of us that get involved. This is probably a good thing. Second, and perhaps actually on topic, have you considered that the mere fact that you are asking the question as a sign of advancement?"
"Like what Alaric said? That I keep changing the terms of engagement?"
"Slightly more basic than that. The mere fact that you are aware of a deficiency in finding the answer could be considered a mark of being farther along. 'The first step is admitting you have a problem' and all that."
"I'm not sure I like the comparison. Philosophers' Anonymous doesn't quite have the right ring to it. But if it's good that I'm asking questions, wouldn't it be better to have found answers?"
"It depends on the answers you get. Good answers will help you more than poor ones. Some answers that may be good will set you back a long way, anyway."
"Be more Zen. I get it."
"I don't think you quite do. It's not a matter of 'Be more Zen' by consciously trying to do so. It's more like 'Be more Zen' by letting things fall into proper place, occasionally nudging them here and there to make them fit nicely."
"Uh huh. And if I knew how to do that, we wouldn't be needing this conversation. And I suspect people would be clamoring for me to write a book about the whole process."
"The Tao that can be described is not the eternal Tao. That which does not kill me..."
"...makes me stranger. Your point being?"
*CLANG!* Weirdo runs by, yelling "Everything you know is Wrong!" and laughing maniacally as another of his frying pans has been imprinted with my cranium's unique pattern.
"Right, then. I'll work on that. By not working on it. Or something."
"The confused mind is often one step away from enlightenment. Or madness. Or perhaps genius, as well."
"Good night, Sen-Sen..."
That's probably the last of them. Hopefully you enjoyed the trip through some of my thought processes. If you've figured out why I seem to need a dialogue partner rather than an internal monologue, you're more than welcome to comment. Got me, though.
Padded rugby game tomorrow - Python Show, plus Rhapsody show. Should be a good band day. I'll have to wave to the cameras that the university put up as a deterrent, after the whole flying water bottles incident. Then chatting with the family afterwards. Tomorrow's a bad day for getting work done, but a good day for my health and sanity. And plotting. Mustn't forget the plotting...
Bee Magic. It doesn't make sense, it's not supposed to make sense, but there's still something really weird about that picture. Braaaaaaaaains.
There was also a page that someone put up that culled out useful information on how to disappear into society. Ostensibly for those fleeing abusive situations, as several times it was stressed that if you're running from the law or the government, that they're going to get you at some point. It would be more for people who are trying to run away from something that has limited resources and manpower. It was effective advice, as best as I could tell, but that makes me think about the free and open nature of the Internet, of sorts. Some things must co-exist that are antithetical to each other, simply because neither poses a danger great enough to call for its head from an outside observer. Of course, one might chuckle about the nonexistence of such a thing as a "neutral observer", but I think that's a different discussion.
Especially if people think that someone who can't be arsed to pronounce things properly (oh, yeah, and believes some sort of bastardized Dominionism) counts as "the no spin zone". If you're curious as to what they're all about, check out twelve reasons why marriage is sacred. It'll tell you more about the people who shout loudest than most things.
Lastly, I'd been warned of his coming, but it appears that I'm going through a "Characters talk to me" phase.
"I'm not completely a character, by the way. I'm more of an independent entity than the others.
"That may be true, but you're still associated with me. So you could just be another of my semi-autonomous fragments of personality."
"Right. That's not the important part. I'm supposed to either inflate your sense of self-worth or pose more wrangling, koan-like questions. Dragon wisdom and all that."
"I see. So I should expect to be confused, or should I just expect some very nonsense-contest worthy phrasing?"
"Got me. But let's see where it goes, hey?"
"Works for me. So what's the first topic?"
"First, I might note that things appear to be progressing ever-sillier, the more of us that get involved. This is probably a good thing. Second, and perhaps actually on topic, have you considered that the mere fact that you are asking the question as a sign of advancement?"
"Like what Alaric said? That I keep changing the terms of engagement?"
"Slightly more basic than that. The mere fact that you are aware of a deficiency in finding the answer could be considered a mark of being farther along. 'The first step is admitting you have a problem' and all that."
"I'm not sure I like the comparison. Philosophers' Anonymous doesn't quite have the right ring to it. But if it's good that I'm asking questions, wouldn't it be better to have found answers?"
"It depends on the answers you get. Good answers will help you more than poor ones. Some answers that may be good will set you back a long way, anyway."
"Be more Zen. I get it."
"I don't think you quite do. It's not a matter of 'Be more Zen' by consciously trying to do so. It's more like 'Be more Zen' by letting things fall into proper place, occasionally nudging them here and there to make them fit nicely."
"Uh huh. And if I knew how to do that, we wouldn't be needing this conversation. And I suspect people would be clamoring for me to write a book about the whole process."
"The Tao that can be described is not the eternal Tao. That which does not kill me..."
"...makes me stranger. Your point being?"
*CLANG!* Weirdo runs by, yelling "Everything you know is Wrong!" and laughing maniacally as another of his frying pans has been imprinted with my cranium's unique pattern.
"Right, then. I'll work on that. By not working on it. Or something."
"The confused mind is often one step away from enlightenment. Or madness. Or perhaps genius, as well."
"Good night, Sen-Sen..."
That's probably the last of them. Hopefully you enjoyed the trip through some of my thought processes. If you've figured out why I seem to need a dialogue partner rather than an internal monologue, you're more than welcome to comment. Got me, though.
Padded rugby game tomorrow - Python Show, plus Rhapsody show. Should be a good band day. I'll have to wave to the cameras that the university put up as a deterrent, after the whole flying water bottles incident. Then chatting with the family afterwards. Tomorrow's a bad day for getting work done, but a good day for my health and sanity. And plotting. Mustn't forget the plotting...
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2005-09-17 04:02 am (UTC)You don't trust yourself. You want reassurance from somebody who knows better than you.
Be more Zen is a good idea, but it's hard to be Zen when you're second-guessing and doubting, which you're still doing a lot of. Zen does not come to the timorous. My own advice: you can find your Zen later when you've simplified yourself a bit, but NOW...be more decisive.
no subject
Date: 2005-09-17 11:45 am (UTC)That could very well be it. Perhaps I need to go find a master and study for a bit, if that's the only way I feel like I can do it.
no subject
Date: 2005-09-17 01:07 pm (UTC)And, most importantly...are you really willing to drop all manner of stuff to do it? Most people are not. I certainly wouldn't be. There is a simpler way.
Needing reassurance from a master isn't a handicap to accomodate and endure, it's a shortcoming you can climb over. Learn to trust yourself by DOING things. When you start to doubt and analyze, and ask your inner cast of characters if that was okay, catch yourself and STOP. It takes practice, of course.
Meditate on the words of Princess Leia Organa: "I am not a committee!"