Midday work - or lack thereof.
Jan. 19th, 2006 01:02 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
silveradeptDecisions, decisions - go to the workshop tomorrow about internships or make a little extra cash doing volleyball refereeing in that time?
Should probably go to the internship workshop. Actually, need to get on those sorts of things. Summer employment and all of that. Mrg. I still don't have anywhere to live for next year, and that's an aggravation I probably should figure out how to correct. Did a long refereeing shift. Then went off to see if people were still playing games. Couldn't get in the building, so assumed they had all gone home, and thus returned. Day productivity - finished paper, refereed games, finished other paperwork today, ate heartily and well, talked with people on-line. I think I pass to the next level. Tomorrow, aside from the workshop, schedule clear (class teacher at conference) - means great potential to get the rest of my shit done. Then, having a little time off this weekend would be faboo. (![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
greyweirdo, any decisions made about anything, including THE BOX?!)
...I feel like I'm sliding back into the rut I had last semester. That's mostly because I haven't gotten out of the house much - although probably more than I have at this point in last semester. Keeping the mind sharp by doing the crosswords on my calendar - occasionally able to solve one, and even more occasionally able to solve one right.
But there's more, too, on my list of things than that. The top segment is NSFW - it involves a bird being flown all over the place, along with a bad dub job and lots of fighting. If this hasn't scared you off properly yet, then I suppose nothing will. Here it is. Actually, the second bit's probably just slightly less NSFW and involves a prank played on Apollo 12 astronauts. The caption is, Houston, we have a boner. You can probably guess the rest. Speaking further on that subject, do you know what federally-fundedabstinence-only sex education programs are teaching? Amazing what they'll pass off as sex ed these days.
Safe for work, but perhaps no less disturbing is the idea of a collar for soldiers containing scents. What are the scents for? To trigger instinctive reactions in soldiers, possibly bypassing their rational centers. (More information here)
Next-to-Last bit. Instant bacon.
Last bit - as reminded by myself earlier, writings about possible role in life.
Well, some adage about "those who can't do, teach" would normally spring to mind, except that's not quite the idea I'm looking for. It's not that I'm not able to do, or at least couldn't do with having the training that other people do. I just seem to be better at getting other people to see and do ideas than I do myself. Most of the ideas I come up with for myself are probably just a little grandiose in the scale of things... might be from the deep-seated desire to do everything perfectly the first time (it's silly, I know). You know, save the world, slay the monster, get the princess, all of that.
The profession I'm going into has some "do" aspects to it, but for the most part, it's a profession whose primary purpose is to give someone else information, inspiration, and knowledge. We're useful to most of the world, but we're also in the background a bit (and depending on how you perceive the future, we may be dinosaurs on our way out). I don't think of too many people who thank their librarians in speeches and such (unless, perhaps, they're speaking to ALA). Might be that I'm choosing to give up a shot at the spotlight so that I can get other people in there who wouldn't otherwise make it.
Huh. If I wanted to, I could follow that line out to a conclusion that we're all little Bodhisattvas or something, helping everyone else get to enlightenment. (Ridikulus. I'm no more enlightened than anyone else.) Still, at times I feel like I haven't done anything, and that I'm going to be spending most of my existence helping others and watching them be successful. That's really silly, as there's plenty of achievement in my past and future (more on this later), but it's hard to shake that feeling - the realization that I'm unlikely to be recognized for anything is kind of depressing. Somewhere, I'm going to have to be happy with what I've got - if more happens, great, if not, great. I'm just not sure how that's going to happen.
To counteract that line of thought, I'm listing Five Great Things I've Done In My Lifetime Thus Far (possible subtitle: Small as They May Be)
1 - January 1, 2004, Rose Bowl, Pasadena, California - National Television in Rose parade, but even better, Star Spangled Banner, arranged and conducted by John Williams.
2 - I've gotten into the University of Michigan - twice.
3 - Peoples I've met - have met manga-ka (Ken Akamatsu, Hideyuki Kurata), flamboyant directors (Shinichiro Watanabe), voice personalities (Crispin Freeman, Monica Rial, Tiffany Grant, Steve Blum, Chiwa Saito, Brett Weaver, Chris Patton and more... the list goes on for a while if you check my ACEN autograph books), webcomic artists (Fred Gallagher, Caroline Curtis, Sprite Monkey, D.C. Simpson, and more), and a boatload of interesting con-goers, fans, and personalities that make up the people I hang out with.
4 - Having as big a social circle as I do - I could just as easily be a recluse, not wanting to talk to anyone over any medium or way and just staying depressed. That I've got people to talk to is not bad for a nonpopular nerd.
5 - I suppose I can count that I've made it this far without dying. That one becomes more impressive, of course, as "this far" starts adding up in years.
That's kind of bad... it took me some thought to come up with five things I'd consider to be great. I couldn't rely on things like significant others and/or kids and careers and other things that are supposedly the metric of greatness in society. No wonder I get depressive sometimes and wonder whether the payoff will be good enough. Must get status symbols, quickly! Or at least something that affirms me. Quickly, now, material culture, here's your opening, strike, strike! Make me feel shallowly better by promising me a better life through your products!
...I think I need to go talk to Llewellyn again. Or Ozymandias and Millicent, at the very least. They're usually good for advice.
Should probably go to the internship workshop. Actually, need to get on those sorts of things. Summer employment and all of that. Mrg. I still don't have anywhere to live for next year, and that's an aggravation I probably should figure out how to correct. Did a long refereeing shift. Then went off to see if people were still playing games. Couldn't get in the building, so assumed they had all gone home, and thus returned. Day productivity - finished paper, refereed games, finished other paperwork today, ate heartily and well, talked with people on-line. I think I pass to the next level. Tomorrow, aside from the workshop, schedule clear (class teacher at conference) - means great potential to get the rest of my shit done. Then, having a little time off this weekend would be faboo. (
greyweirdo, any decisions made about anything, including THE BOX?!) ...I feel like I'm sliding back into the rut I had last semester. That's mostly because I haven't gotten out of the house much - although probably more than I have at this point in last semester. Keeping the mind sharp by doing the crosswords on my calendar - occasionally able to solve one, and even more occasionally able to solve one right.
But there's more, too, on my list of things than that. The top segment is NSFW - it involves a bird being flown all over the place, along with a bad dub job and lots of fighting. If this hasn't scared you off properly yet, then I suppose nothing will. Here it is. Actually, the second bit's probably just slightly less NSFW and involves a prank played on Apollo 12 astronauts. The caption is, Houston, we have a boner. You can probably guess the rest. Speaking further on that subject, do you know what federally-funded
Safe for work, but perhaps no less disturbing is the idea of a collar for soldiers containing scents. What are the scents for? To trigger instinctive reactions in soldiers, possibly bypassing their rational centers. (More information here)
Next-to-Last bit. Instant bacon.
Last bit - as reminded by myself earlier, writings about possible role in life.
Well, some adage about "those who can't do, teach" would normally spring to mind, except that's not quite the idea I'm looking for. It's not that I'm not able to do, or at least couldn't do with having the training that other people do. I just seem to be better at getting other people to see and do ideas than I do myself. Most of the ideas I come up with for myself are probably just a little grandiose in the scale of things... might be from the deep-seated desire to do everything perfectly the first time (it's silly, I know). You know, save the world, slay the monster, get the princess, all of that.
The profession I'm going into has some "do" aspects to it, but for the most part, it's a profession whose primary purpose is to give someone else information, inspiration, and knowledge. We're useful to most of the world, but we're also in the background a bit (and depending on how you perceive the future, we may be dinosaurs on our way out). I don't think of too many people who thank their librarians in speeches and such (unless, perhaps, they're speaking to ALA). Might be that I'm choosing to give up a shot at the spotlight so that I can get other people in there who wouldn't otherwise make it.
Huh. If I wanted to, I could follow that line out to a conclusion that we're all little Bodhisattvas or something, helping everyone else get to enlightenment. (Ridikulus. I'm no more enlightened than anyone else.) Still, at times I feel like I haven't done anything, and that I'm going to be spending most of my existence helping others and watching them be successful. That's really silly, as there's plenty of achievement in my past and future (more on this later), but it's hard to shake that feeling - the realization that I'm unlikely to be recognized for anything is kind of depressing. Somewhere, I'm going to have to be happy with what I've got - if more happens, great, if not, great. I'm just not sure how that's going to happen.
To counteract that line of thought, I'm listing Five Great Things I've Done In My Lifetime Thus Far (possible subtitle: Small as They May Be)
1 - January 1, 2004, Rose Bowl, Pasadena, California - National Television in Rose parade, but even better, Star Spangled Banner, arranged and conducted by John Williams.
2 - I've gotten into the University of Michigan - twice.
3 - Peoples I've met - have met manga-ka (Ken Akamatsu, Hideyuki Kurata), flamboyant directors (Shinichiro Watanabe), voice personalities (Crispin Freeman, Monica Rial, Tiffany Grant, Steve Blum, Chiwa Saito, Brett Weaver, Chris Patton and more... the list goes on for a while if you check my ACEN autograph books), webcomic artists (Fred Gallagher, Caroline Curtis, Sprite Monkey, D.C. Simpson, and more), and a boatload of interesting con-goers, fans, and personalities that make up the people I hang out with.
4 - Having as big a social circle as I do - I could just as easily be a recluse, not wanting to talk to anyone over any medium or way and just staying depressed. That I've got people to talk to is not bad for a nonpopular nerd.
5 - I suppose I can count that I've made it this far without dying. That one becomes more impressive, of course, as "this far" starts adding up in years.
That's kind of bad... it took me some thought to come up with five things I'd consider to be great. I couldn't rely on things like significant others and/or kids and careers and other things that are supposedly the metric of greatness in society. No wonder I get depressive sometimes and wonder whether the payoff will be good enough. Must get status symbols, quickly! Or at least something that affirms me. Quickly, now, material culture, here's your opening, strike, strike! Make me feel shallowly better by promising me a better life through your products!
...I think I need to go talk to Llewellyn again. Or Ozymandias and Millicent, at the very least. They're usually good for advice.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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Date: 2006-01-19 06:34 am (UTC)Which ever works for you. THE BOX will wait in either case.
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Date: 2006-01-19 08:30 pm (UTC)For more info:
http://www.umich.edu/~msalsa/
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Date: 2006-01-19 08:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-20 01:26 pm (UTC)Have fun at Con!
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Date: 2006-01-20 02:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-19 07:13 am (UTC)Five great things I've done in my lifetime thus far:
1) Survived. (Trust me, this is a big one, I've survived being born premature, car accident, fire, famine, 5 bouts of pneumonia, my own stupidity and suicidal tendancies.)
2) Loved. (and lost, but hey, who's counting?)
3) I have friends and a fraternity full of brothers who I hang out with and who on a moments notice would be willing to get me drunk if I were depressed and then stay up all night with me in the bathroom to make sure I don't pass out. (This has not yet happened, but I'm sure they would do this.)
4) I have friends online, who I feel trust me. This is a big one as well.
5) I've done most things on whims that are retrospectively kinda stupid. (I went sky diving, I've run naked through San Francisco, I've showed up to class in just boxers (as the TA)... speaking of the boxers, I've been around much of the Bay Area in just those, I still play the trombone with the Band even though I still don't know how to play, danced all night for 10 hours straight after 3 nights in a row of < 3 hours of sleep.)
Seriously, celebrate the small victories. They're the important ones.
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