Today did turn out to be interesting.

This entry is registered as Green. Could be Blue.

Got no clue what I'm talking about? Check out the Official Fleet Drama System, designed by loweko himself.

First, gotta salute madkingludwig for his ascension into the hallowed halls of education. Starting very soon, he's going to a different part of the state to take up his profession. Was fun working with ya, sir. Maybe at some point I'll get to see you around and tell you that I have a budget for you to make the TV show with, hmm? Second, I did make it to the wedding in time. Many congratulations and benedictions are in order for the new couple. Hopefully they have a happily married life. Third, well, there may not be a third. Could be classified. It involved Great and Terrible Trials, of which I passed by the Skin of My Teeth, using such patented tricks as Flying By the Seat of My Pants, Hey-Look-Over-There, and the Bishounen Sparkle. But in the end, I was granted an Artifact of Great Power, which will boost my statistics accordingly. And that may have even been too much to say. Finally, I curse Jackson County for having so many deer in it. One bounded across the road as I was driving home and may have struck a glancing blow to the car's rear. No serious damage, however.

Actually, there's been a running theme for the last week or so here. Much of it has to do with engaging my talents in creative outlets as well as people generally telling me that I'm somewhat skilled at these creative endeavours and others. Upon reflection, which may be more like staring into the abyss, I decided to roll in the idea of Impostor Syndrome and use it as a reflective tool, thus producing a rather interesting observation. 'Twould appear that I prefer to be thought of as the miracle-worker, as Scotty would have put it. Usually, when interacting and meeting people socially, I tend to want to set lower expectations of myself, under the rationale that if I disappoint someone, it won't be that badly, and if I impress someone, then that's fine. Apparently, though, I've been doing a lot more of the impressing than the disappointing. Which is nice, but my ego hasn't boosted itself accordingly (which also might be nice), as far as I know. I still prefer people to have low expectations of me, so that I don't disappoint them a lot if I should fail. This seems like an eminently practical position, but it also might mean that I'm taking myself out of the running for projects that I could really succeed at and do quite well.

( The reaction, however, has been unexpected )

Time to start work again.

Today was eventfully uneventful. Much done. Much left undone. Levels gained and stuff. And stuff. Today was a lazy Sunday in a good way. Tomorrow is work, however. That dampens any Sunday - it always has. If it isn't work, it's skool that happens on Mondays. Maybe when I'm all said and done, I'll be okay with going to work in the morning. Maybe not. We'll see.

As promised, there is a second part to last night's insecurities. I worked this part out with someone else over IM while I was composing the first part. Like most traumas, this goes back to my childhood (sorry, gratuitous melodrama.)


( Childhood Mistakes? )