Feb. 14th, 2006

silveradept: A kodama with a trombone. The trombone is playing music, even though it is held in a rest position (Default)
Tomorrow's either Red Day, or Viking Day, or some other sort of V day - escapes my mind at the moment. But don't be SAD if you're not taking part. If you feel the need, you can take a potshot or two in Norse (or some transliteration thereof - accurate? Maaaybe.) Or you could spend the whole day in the lab with some useful scientific materials.

Speaking of science (SCIENCE!), Phillip K. Dick is missing. Which is a real shame - I hope whomever got him gives him back. If P.K. Dick wandered off on his own, then I hope he finds a good A.I. programmer to help him out.

I feel a little more balanced than yesterday. It very well could have just been me on my favorite "woe" subject of not feeling like I'm producing anything tangibly cool with the talents I have. I did get work done on places wehre I felt stuck, and I think I'm going to have a bit of a flurry over the weekend compiling everything together and getting all the assignments and things completed. I think the midterm break is coming up soon... I've been too busy to really notice.

I'm trying hard not to be too concerned about whether or not I have the talent to do things on the level of the greats and just do things, creative or otherwise. I've been sketching in some classes, and while the results are definitely cartoony, that's not necessarily a horrible thing. It might just mean that I don't ever actually get around to being able to draw realistically without help. Truth be said, I might yet be able to do things anyway. There's no rule that says I have to do anything in one particular way. The funny part is, if I had fame, I'd probably be running from it. But since I don't have it, I'm running to try and get some. Some mistakes have to be experienced to be understood, I guess.

That, and I'm beginning to feel a little up against constraints. For as accepting as my college town is, I don't feel like it's a place where I could wear wings to class. Yet. That might be because of the people I'm around, though. Imagination is one of my strong suits, I suppose - that's a part of the reason why I want to work with kids, I think. Working with young ones gives you a sense of latitude - I can dress the part and nobody looks askance at me, so long as I'm reading the right story, or just because I'm the children's librarian. Eccentricity, or the freedom to be eccentric, is what seems to be missing at the moment. Might have to ask someone to figure out a way of making me some Haibane wings that I can wear around - something small that people will just get used to, you know? From there, the costuming decisions grow.

Maybe that's what I need to do.. learn how to sew, (and sew well) so that I can make the outfits I really want to wear. That may involve learning how to make armor as well. Yeah, there's the possibility of repercussions by some people who don't like the idea, but... there's something that just feels right for me about wandering around with a pair of wings on. Maybe it recaptures the sense of weirdness that I've ben coveting for a while - it'll get me noticed, perhaps. It's more than just looking to get noticed, though - it's doing what I want to do, and screw the consequences. Maybe now that I'm getting to the point where I'm going to have to start shouldering the burdens of life, I feel entitled to start showing off the way I feel like living it.

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silveradept: A kodama with a trombone. The trombone is playing music, even though it is held in a rest position (Default)
Silver Adept

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