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silveradeptSix of seven prompts for ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
sunshine_challenge, and this one is potentially less sunny than the previous ones, but that makes it perfect for something I've wanted to talk about anyway.
There's at least some mention of suicidal ideation from a movie character in this post, so if that's not a subject you want to deal with, you can pass this one by. Also, spoilers for Nimona, the movie and the book.
Hello, Nimona. I watched the Netflix movie recently, after having consumed the graphic novel in anticipation of watching the movie, and I can see where there were changes made between the two, so that the stories are still related to each other and travel on similar arcs, but they're different enough for me to think differently about them, the differences between book-Nimona and film-Nimona, same for Ballister. Goldenloin, for the most part, stays the same between the two, but that's because he's basically supposed to be a ridiculously good-looking himbo who turns out to have a little more depth than that once he's pushed into having to be more than just a himbo. (Plus, the thing that causes the split between Goldenloin and Ballister is orchestrated by the director of the knightly order, who is doing a whole lot more villainy than Ballister ever gets up to on his own.)
Nimona. A shapeshifting character who may or may not turn out to also be a legendary destructive force that ravaged the land before. Usually takes the form of a girl, or a woman. Enters the company and eventually employ (of sorts) of one Ballister (Blackheart (book) / Boldheart (movie) ) with the intent of transforming him from a mostly ineffectual villain whose greatest criminal acts are things like petty vandalism into a much more effective and efficient villain against the authoritarian and entirely corrupt government. Ballister's also lost one of his arms and been kicked out of the corps of knights because of something he has been framed for, which makes him bitter, but also because he still mostly believes in the mission of the knights and the Order, he's not fully committed to the bit of trying to destroy them or bring them down in manners that create large amounts of death and bloodshed. Nimona does not have those qualms, and is more than ready to maim, kill, and destroy as much as she needs to, with little thought about what the consequences of those actions would be, in terms of life or anything else. Ballister does his best to try to rein in those tendencies and forbid Nimona from what he never specifically says is unproductive destruction, but that's clearly the implications there. And the two of them form not just a villainous team, but a family-type relationship.
Movie-Nimona gets more of a backstory than book-Nimona does, and it's an interesting change. Book-Nimona eventually starts going on a full-on rampage because there's a part of her that's being hurt and tortured, and the rest of her intends fully on destroying the thing that's hurting her. It puts the cause of the destruction on the people who are torturing a living creature to try and gain more power for themselves. Movie-Nimona, on the other hand, has a recurring statement and a recurring question that wind their way all throughout the movie. The question is "What are you?" when it should be more properly "Who are you?" And Nimona's answer is "I'm Nimona," with the emphasis specifically in place as a challenge to anyone who would say otherwise to her. As the backstory of movie-Nimona unfolds, and Ballister continues to struggle with trying to teach her about proportionate amounts of violence and about the superiority of tactics that aren't "smash everything," it becomes clear to the audience that Nimona thoroughly expects everyone to call her a monster and treat her as one.
(Interesting sidebar here: the movie gets, more than many, the idea that "monster" comes from a root of "something you display as a warning to others" so that when it starts asking the question of "who's the real monster here?" it's not just a rote whataboutism, but has instead done the narrative work of showing the in-movie and out-of-movie audience that they are letting their prejudices get in the way of recognizing what the true warning symbols are.)
As Nimona's backstory becomes clear, it also adds complexity to the legend told at the beginning of the movie and that is referred to repeatedly throughout. The legend is about a great person named Gloreth, who is eventually the founder of the knights and the city, and how she banished a powerful monster away from the city and made the current prosperity possible. The relevant part of Nimona's backstory is having made friends with a girl from a village, and shown her that she's a shapeshifter, and the two of them having fun and friendship together and what might even be the beginnings of adolescent crushing or child-appropriate love for each other. To the others of the village, Nimona is seen as a threat, and as so often happens, when there is an accident due to the over-reaction to Nimona, Gloreth, the girl, ends up blaming Nimona and calling her a monster, and telling her to go back to the darkness from whence she came (the trumphant refrain of the legend of Gloreth), pointing her sword at Nimona in the same way the giant statue of Gloreth is pointing at the world outside. (The cinematographic decisions in the movie are great, because that particular angle, of someone looking down their sword at another person, is repeated all throughout the movie, and, to my recollection, every time it happens, it's a sign that the person holding the sword is in the wrong.) At the point where the backstory and the legend converge, we find out the legend is significantly embellished compared to the reality. Nimona absolutely is the creature that Gloreth vanquished in the legend, but she did it by being cruel to her friend, not because she fought the creature and banished it. In both instances, the part of Nimona that is unthinking rage and destruction is rendered as a big black creature with very few features or human-ness about herself and who can tank an extraordinary amount of damage (she could before, but it's played for laughs during a bit in the movie where Ballister has to remove an arrowhead from Nimona that she hasn't noticed, and she doesn't flinch or otherwise indicate pain when he pulls it out of her.) Movie-Nimona, it turns out, is very hurt and jealous of the supports and the normalcy that Gloreth had and all of the other people who have been leading normal lives without being called a monster and seen as some sort of existential threat to everyone. What Nimona really wants is to have a friend. Or several. And specifically friends or family that she can be all of Nimona around, instead of only part of Nimona.
Ballister, for his part, in both cases, blames Ambrosius for losing his arm (in both cases, Ambrosius was the person seemingly most directly responsible for it) and for staying with the Order/Institute and becoming their Golden(loin) Boy, even though Ambrosius doesn't appear to have done much toward actively seeking those honors and accolades, as much as having them thrust upon him, getting told that it's good for everyone if he does them, and going along with it. (It's not that terribly different than the Adora/Catra dynamic, just with a couple of guys instead of a couple of girls. If you were expecting something different from ND Stevenson, well, I don't know why you were.) Ambrosius has been seeking forgiveness from Ballister ever since the inciting incident, but Ballister isn't willing to forgive him for as long as he's still working for and with the people that hurt him. And, by extension, those who hurt Nimona. (They do make up in the end, because, well, the people who hurt Ballister and Nimona generally snuff it, and the organization itself collapses under the weight of destruction and their scandals coming to undeniable light. And because the two of them have always had a deep love for each other, honestly.)
The sharpest diversions between book-Nimona and movie-Nimona is that while both of them are on a trajectory where they've stopped caring whether they die or not, book-Nimona basically holds herself in place while a large explosive or similar ticks down to going boom (while Ambrosius basically hustles Ballister out of the blast radius because he loves Ballister and isn't going to let him die, even if Nimona doesn't want to let herself get out of the way and Ballister is okay with staying with her through something that will definitely kill him), movie-Nimona advances through the city and all of the attackers sent to hurt or destroy her because she intends to impale her core self on the sword of the giant statue of Gloreth in the city center. What she destroys is basically whatever is trying to get in her way and stop her from committing suicide in this way.
Except Ballister. He drove Nimona away by calling her a monster and giving her the echoes of betrayal that Gloreth did, but he realizes his mistake and he is out on the very end of the sword of Gloreth to put his mechanical hand against Nimona's core in a plea for her to stop what she's doing. It's the emotional catharsis and pivot point of the movie, so it works. Nimona accepts Ballister's plea for forgiveness, and then she has to stop a cannon firing into the city center meant to destroy her, of course, because the other people around who still see Nimona as a monster are bent on destroying her in whatever means they have at their disposal, consequences and friendly fire casualties be damned. With Nimona's disappearance, in both movie and book, Ballister and Ambrosius make up, and they end with a clear sign that Nimona survived the blast that was trying to kill her (can tank ridiculous amounts of damage, remember?) and is back to potentially cause more mischief and maybe this time get the family situation that she was hoping for all of these years.
Jealousy, a desire for forgiveness, joy, and sincerity. Nimona's basically a hyacinth tale from start to finish. It's also a story about monsters and family. I liked both of them.
On a completely different tack, hyacinth also reminds me of the Bruce Coville Book Jeremy Thatcher, Dragon Hatcher, one of the Magic Shop series that he put out. Artistic child finds dragon egg in magic shop, takes it home, hatches it, gets into some mischief, but also some joy with the dragon, eventually has to return the dragon back to the place where the dragons go, and after doing so, eventually gets out of the artist's block he was having and has happy dream-time adventures with the dragon. Mostly, I mention this because there's a librarian in the story, her name is Hyacinth Priest. (Miss Hyacinth Priest, most formally, because this is still a book published in a time where librarians are likely to be unmarried women.) Like a proper librarian, she has just the book to help a young dragon hatcher raise the hatchling and make sure that he retains all the things he needs so that the dragon can make a safe trip back home as an adult. It should be no surprise to an adult reader that she also turns out to be someone very in the know about the dragons and is magical in her own right, performing the ritual that sends the dragons home to their own world. I mean, I know full well that librarians are magical people and that what we do seems to be magical, but it would be nice here and there if we actually did have the secret books of magic that so many stories say we do .If for no other reason than to be able to effect useful change, or give our people the ability to effect useful change, in their lives and to make things better for everyone.
(There's a lot of personal stuff here, too, about being happy-jealous of the successes of others and wanting similar for myself, about rejection sensitivity and how I'm probably carrying around a desire for forgiveness from people that it's been years since I've offended them or seen them, so no, I haven't set down the woman at the river, because I'm afraid that if I do, then I'll do the same thing and offend someone else in the same way. That I want to be sincere and direct and would like others to do the same, but also how much all of the systems and defenses and compensations that I've built for myself out of the necessity of dealing with the world around me robs me of joy that I could be experiencing and enjoying, because of how it might look or sound to others, or how being happy and joyful might trigger hyperfocus on the happy thing, or, or, or. My professionals are working on trying to establish the idea that I have intrinsic self-worth and joy and love are not conditional upon performance or perfection, but it's difficult to unlearn all the habits that I've put in place to protect myself. Much like Nimona, I expect to turn out to be a monster, by accident, or because I opened up to someone and they weren't ready for it. I'm not quite to the challenge response of "I'm Nimona" yet, but we're working on it.)
sunshine_challenge, and this one is potentially less sunny than the previous ones, but that makes it perfect for something I've wanted to talk about anyway.Prompt 6: Hyacinth
Hyacinths symbolize jealousy, a desire for forgiveness, joy, and sincerity, depending on the flower color. Yellow hyacinths are linked to jealousy, purple flowers mean you're seeking forgiveness, and blue hyacinths are tied to sincere care.
Bonus Prompt: Yellow Rose
There's at least some mention of suicidal ideation from a movie character in this post, so if that's not a subject you want to deal with, you can pass this one by. Also, spoilers for Nimona, the movie and the book.
Hello, Nimona. I watched the Netflix movie recently, after having consumed the graphic novel in anticipation of watching the movie, and I can see where there were changes made between the two, so that the stories are still related to each other and travel on similar arcs, but they're different enough for me to think differently about them, the differences between book-Nimona and film-Nimona, same for Ballister. Goldenloin, for the most part, stays the same between the two, but that's because he's basically supposed to be a ridiculously good-looking himbo who turns out to have a little more depth than that once he's pushed into having to be more than just a himbo. (Plus, the thing that causes the split between Goldenloin and Ballister is orchestrated by the director of the knightly order, who is doing a whole lot more villainy than Ballister ever gets up to on his own.)
Nimona. A shapeshifting character who may or may not turn out to also be a legendary destructive force that ravaged the land before. Usually takes the form of a girl, or a woman. Enters the company and eventually employ (of sorts) of one Ballister (Blackheart (book) / Boldheart (movie) ) with the intent of transforming him from a mostly ineffectual villain whose greatest criminal acts are things like petty vandalism into a much more effective and efficient villain against the authoritarian and entirely corrupt government. Ballister's also lost one of his arms and been kicked out of the corps of knights because of something he has been framed for, which makes him bitter, but also because he still mostly believes in the mission of the knights and the Order, he's not fully committed to the bit of trying to destroy them or bring them down in manners that create large amounts of death and bloodshed. Nimona does not have those qualms, and is more than ready to maim, kill, and destroy as much as she needs to, with little thought about what the consequences of those actions would be, in terms of life or anything else. Ballister does his best to try to rein in those tendencies and forbid Nimona from what he never specifically says is unproductive destruction, but that's clearly the implications there. And the two of them form not just a villainous team, but a family-type relationship.
Movie-Nimona gets more of a backstory than book-Nimona does, and it's an interesting change. Book-Nimona eventually starts going on a full-on rampage because there's a part of her that's being hurt and tortured, and the rest of her intends fully on destroying the thing that's hurting her. It puts the cause of the destruction on the people who are torturing a living creature to try and gain more power for themselves. Movie-Nimona, on the other hand, has a recurring statement and a recurring question that wind their way all throughout the movie. The question is "What are you?" when it should be more properly "Who are you?" And Nimona's answer is "I'm Nimona," with the emphasis specifically in place as a challenge to anyone who would say otherwise to her. As the backstory of movie-Nimona unfolds, and Ballister continues to struggle with trying to teach her about proportionate amounts of violence and about the superiority of tactics that aren't "smash everything," it becomes clear to the audience that Nimona thoroughly expects everyone to call her a monster and treat her as one.
(Interesting sidebar here: the movie gets, more than many, the idea that "monster" comes from a root of "something you display as a warning to others" so that when it starts asking the question of "who's the real monster here?" it's not just a rote whataboutism, but has instead done the narrative work of showing the in-movie and out-of-movie audience that they are letting their prejudices get in the way of recognizing what the true warning symbols are.)
As Nimona's backstory becomes clear, it also adds complexity to the legend told at the beginning of the movie and that is referred to repeatedly throughout. The legend is about a great person named Gloreth, who is eventually the founder of the knights and the city, and how she banished a powerful monster away from the city and made the current prosperity possible. The relevant part of Nimona's backstory is having made friends with a girl from a village, and shown her that she's a shapeshifter, and the two of them having fun and friendship together and what might even be the beginnings of adolescent crushing or child-appropriate love for each other. To the others of the village, Nimona is seen as a threat, and as so often happens, when there is an accident due to the over-reaction to Nimona, Gloreth, the girl, ends up blaming Nimona and calling her a monster, and telling her to go back to the darkness from whence she came (the trumphant refrain of the legend of Gloreth), pointing her sword at Nimona in the same way the giant statue of Gloreth is pointing at the world outside. (The cinematographic decisions in the movie are great, because that particular angle, of someone looking down their sword at another person, is repeated all throughout the movie, and, to my recollection, every time it happens, it's a sign that the person holding the sword is in the wrong.) At the point where the backstory and the legend converge, we find out the legend is significantly embellished compared to the reality. Nimona absolutely is the creature that Gloreth vanquished in the legend, but she did it by being cruel to her friend, not because she fought the creature and banished it. In both instances, the part of Nimona that is unthinking rage and destruction is rendered as a big black creature with very few features or human-ness about herself and who can tank an extraordinary amount of damage (she could before, but it's played for laughs during a bit in the movie where Ballister has to remove an arrowhead from Nimona that she hasn't noticed, and she doesn't flinch or otherwise indicate pain when he pulls it out of her.) Movie-Nimona, it turns out, is very hurt and jealous of the supports and the normalcy that Gloreth had and all of the other people who have been leading normal lives without being called a monster and seen as some sort of existential threat to everyone. What Nimona really wants is to have a friend. Or several. And specifically friends or family that she can be all of Nimona around, instead of only part of Nimona.
Ballister, for his part, in both cases, blames Ambrosius for losing his arm (in both cases, Ambrosius was the person seemingly most directly responsible for it) and for staying with the Order/Institute and becoming their Golden(loin) Boy, even though Ambrosius doesn't appear to have done much toward actively seeking those honors and accolades, as much as having them thrust upon him, getting told that it's good for everyone if he does them, and going along with it. (It's not that terribly different than the Adora/Catra dynamic, just with a couple of guys instead of a couple of girls. If you were expecting something different from ND Stevenson, well, I don't know why you were.) Ambrosius has been seeking forgiveness from Ballister ever since the inciting incident, but Ballister isn't willing to forgive him for as long as he's still working for and with the people that hurt him. And, by extension, those who hurt Nimona. (They do make up in the end, because, well, the people who hurt Ballister and Nimona generally snuff it, and the organization itself collapses under the weight of destruction and their scandals coming to undeniable light. And because the two of them have always had a deep love for each other, honestly.)
The sharpest diversions between book-Nimona and movie-Nimona is that while both of them are on a trajectory where they've stopped caring whether they die or not, book-Nimona basically holds herself in place while a large explosive or similar ticks down to going boom (while Ambrosius basically hustles Ballister out of the blast radius because he loves Ballister and isn't going to let him die, even if Nimona doesn't want to let herself get out of the way and Ballister is okay with staying with her through something that will definitely kill him), movie-Nimona advances through the city and all of the attackers sent to hurt or destroy her because she intends to impale her core self on the sword of the giant statue of Gloreth in the city center. What she destroys is basically whatever is trying to get in her way and stop her from committing suicide in this way.
Except Ballister. He drove Nimona away by calling her a monster and giving her the echoes of betrayal that Gloreth did, but he realizes his mistake and he is out on the very end of the sword of Gloreth to put his mechanical hand against Nimona's core in a plea for her to stop what she's doing. It's the emotional catharsis and pivot point of the movie, so it works. Nimona accepts Ballister's plea for forgiveness, and then she has to stop a cannon firing into the city center meant to destroy her, of course, because the other people around who still see Nimona as a monster are bent on destroying her in whatever means they have at their disposal, consequences and friendly fire casualties be damned. With Nimona's disappearance, in both movie and book, Ballister and Ambrosius make up, and they end with a clear sign that Nimona survived the blast that was trying to kill her (can tank ridiculous amounts of damage, remember?) and is back to potentially cause more mischief and maybe this time get the family situation that she was hoping for all of these years.
Jealousy, a desire for forgiveness, joy, and sincerity. Nimona's basically a hyacinth tale from start to finish. It's also a story about monsters and family. I liked both of them.
On a completely different tack, hyacinth also reminds me of the Bruce Coville Book Jeremy Thatcher, Dragon Hatcher, one of the Magic Shop series that he put out. Artistic child finds dragon egg in magic shop, takes it home, hatches it, gets into some mischief, but also some joy with the dragon, eventually has to return the dragon back to the place where the dragons go, and after doing so, eventually gets out of the artist's block he was having and has happy dream-time adventures with the dragon. Mostly, I mention this because there's a librarian in the story, her name is Hyacinth Priest. (Miss Hyacinth Priest, most formally, because this is still a book published in a time where librarians are likely to be unmarried women.) Like a proper librarian, she has just the book to help a young dragon hatcher raise the hatchling and make sure that he retains all the things he needs so that the dragon can make a safe trip back home as an adult. It should be no surprise to an adult reader that she also turns out to be someone very in the know about the dragons and is magical in her own right, performing the ritual that sends the dragons home to their own world. I mean, I know full well that librarians are magical people and that what we do seems to be magical, but it would be nice here and there if we actually did have the secret books of magic that so many stories say we do .If for no other reason than to be able to effect useful change, or give our people the ability to effect useful change, in their lives and to make things better for everyone.
(There's a lot of personal stuff here, too, about being happy-jealous of the successes of others and wanting similar for myself, about rejection sensitivity and how I'm probably carrying around a desire for forgiveness from people that it's been years since I've offended them or seen them, so no, I haven't set down the woman at the river, because I'm afraid that if I do, then I'll do the same thing and offend someone else in the same way. That I want to be sincere and direct and would like others to do the same, but also how much all of the systems and defenses and compensations that I've built for myself out of the necessity of dealing with the world around me robs me of joy that I could be experiencing and enjoying, because of how it might look or sound to others, or how being happy and joyful might trigger hyperfocus on the happy thing, or, or, or. My professionals are working on trying to establish the idea that I have intrinsic self-worth and joy and love are not conditional upon performance or perfection, but it's difficult to unlearn all the habits that I've put in place to protect myself. Much like Nimona, I expect to turn out to be a monster, by accident, or because I opened up to someone and they weren't ready for it. I'm not quite to the challenge response of "I'm Nimona" yet, but we're working on it.)
no subject
Date: 2023-07-31 04:19 pm (UTC)It's been a while. I've missed you. 💗
(Apologies if that's a bit too forward. It's a very hard struggle to let these habits go. You show us so much of yourself, and whether or not you can feel it yourself, you're no monster. You have a beautiful mind and heart.)
no subject
Date: 2023-07-31 04:49 pm (UTC)Hugs are appreciated, virtual or otherwise. As are these reassurances that things make sense and the struggle is real.