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silveradeptToday is a day when the lightning storm hits. You know, ominous music, thunderous rumblings, flashes of lightning on the horizon, all signaling the entry of someone who's pissed off beyond belief and intends to either take out his anger on anybody nearby or wants to scare everybody into running away from him so that he can just lash out blindly?
Yeah. That's what my day turned into about 4:40 today. For that's when I looked at the challenge lists, to discover that my name was not on the block list. I was hoping that this year I would be able to go through the year without being a reserve, but apparently, someone either in the graduate staff/directorship hated my challenge, or someone farther up into the Infernal Bureaucracy decided it would be worth screwing things up for me. This may be a Dark Manifestation of Chaos, but I don't like it very much.
So I get to go listen patiently as my faults are explained to me tomorrow in the vaguest possible terms and will probably have to spend some extra time either before or after the practices to improve on my fundamentals, not to mention that I'm now going to have to waste a good part of my rehearsal day on poor ground doing those fundamentals repeatedly. I wonder how my knee will take it.
So right now I'm the little ball of rage, but with no target to really blame. Possibly the directorship if I think they're at fault, but the truth is, if I want to avoid more time wasted, I have to play the game. About the only thing that will appease me is if it came down to a matter of chair placement. And even then, I'll swear up down, backwards and forwards that it's a stupid tiebreaker.
So, my next two weeks have just been ruined, thank you very much. Watch my enthusiasm dissipate and my attitude become surly as time progresses. Enjoy the rage and negativity that I will probably generate at you for wronging me so, imagined slight or not.
It's not a total wash for some part of it, because everyone marches the homecoming game. However, having a senior in the back of the band, especially after I've marched all the games so far this year, is ridiculous. My experience is going to waste having to spend time working on things that I already know how to do, and to do well.
So that's why I'm not feeling particularly happy. Here, unfortunately, there are no soft or breakable objects that I can just crash, smash, and throw about in a blind rage until I get all the aggression worked out. Besides, I'd probably want to strike those responsible with those objects, and that would not be a good thing to do.
A to Zed Meme, swiped from Prickly Guy
A is for - Age: 21 Years.
B is for - Boyfriend/Girlfriend: Neh.
C is for - Career: Librarian.
D is for - Dead person you would like to meet: Probably either Shakymuni or Jesus Christ
E is for - Essential item to bring to a party: Icebreakers. Not the gum, but conversation-starting things. Props work well here.
F is for - Favorite song at the moment: I'd say it is something like taking the first part of the Empire's theme from FFVI (Orchestral Version) right up to the Grand Pause, then a roll of thunder as Magus's Theme kicks in a dark key.
G is for - God: Agnostic-ish, pantheistic-ish, duodivinity-ish. Chaosian/Discordian part-time.
H is for - Hometown: Grass Lake, Michigan
I is for – Ice cream flavor of preference: Moose Tracks
J is for – Complete the sentence: Justice League ______: rocks.
L is for - Living places: Grass Lake, Ann Arbor.
M is for - Moment: There are always several moments. Many of mine that I remember are my failures and not my successes, which might be just as numerous.
N is for - Number of people on your Friends list that you trust: Trust with what? That number can range from zero to all of them.
O is for - Overnight hospital stays: None that I know of or remember.
P is for - Phobia: Heights, but in a very specific sense of what could go wrong from those heights. That's my fear.
Q is for - Quote you like: "The four places in heaven, the four corners of the earth. In the name of the sacred laws, belief, and goodness. I summon thee, Suzaku, lord of the South. I now say these words to thee, appear on earth from the seven places of heaven for the sake of those here who adore you. Come to us here with thy holy power, smash the evil which threatens us. Save us! And hear our wishes to thee! Descend to us now from the heavens above!" - Summoner's Prayer, Fushigi Yugi
R is for - Relationship that lasted the longest: Nope. Haven't gotten that far yet.
S is for - Sexuality: Straight
T is for - Time you wake up everyday: 7:30 on 9:00 class days, 8:30 on 10:00 class days, 5:15 on home football Saturdays.
U is for - Unique trait(s): Unless my sense of humor counts, I got nothin'.
V is for - Vegetable you love: Cucumbers, but only when pickled.
W is for - Worst habit: Psychotic self-criticism and perfectionism, inability to believe good things about self, depressive rages, raging depressions.
X is for - X-rays you've had: Dental, fingers (two separate incidents), knees.
Y is for - Yummy food you make: Most of what I make tastes good, I just need a recipe to follow.
Z is for - Zodiac sign: Cancer.
Yeah. That's what my day turned into about 4:40 today. For that's when I looked at the challenge lists, to discover that my name was not on the block list. I was hoping that this year I would be able to go through the year without being a reserve, but apparently, someone either in the graduate staff/directorship hated my challenge, or someone farther up into the Infernal Bureaucracy decided it would be worth screwing things up for me. This may be a Dark Manifestation of Chaos, but I don't like it very much.
So I get to go listen patiently as my faults are explained to me tomorrow in the vaguest possible terms and will probably have to spend some extra time either before or after the practices to improve on my fundamentals, not to mention that I'm now going to have to waste a good part of my rehearsal day on poor ground doing those fundamentals repeatedly. I wonder how my knee will take it.
So right now I'm the little ball of rage, but with no target to really blame. Possibly the directorship if I think they're at fault, but the truth is, if I want to avoid more time wasted, I have to play the game. About the only thing that will appease me is if it came down to a matter of chair placement. And even then, I'll swear up down, backwards and forwards that it's a stupid tiebreaker.
So, my next two weeks have just been ruined, thank you very much. Watch my enthusiasm dissipate and my attitude become surly as time progresses. Enjoy the rage and negativity that I will probably generate at you for wronging me so, imagined slight or not.
It's not a total wash for some part of it, because everyone marches the homecoming game. However, having a senior in the back of the band, especially after I've marched all the games so far this year, is ridiculous. My experience is going to waste having to spend time working on things that I already know how to do, and to do well.
So that's why I'm not feeling particularly happy. Here, unfortunately, there are no soft or breakable objects that I can just crash, smash, and throw about in a blind rage until I get all the aggression worked out. Besides, I'd probably want to strike those responsible with those objects, and that would not be a good thing to do.
A to Zed Meme, swiped from Prickly Guy
A is for - Age: 21 Years.
B is for - Boyfriend/Girlfriend: Neh.
C is for - Career: Librarian.
D is for - Dead person you would like to meet: Probably either Shakymuni or Jesus Christ
E is for - Essential item to bring to a party: Icebreakers. Not the gum, but conversation-starting things. Props work well here.
F is for - Favorite song at the moment: I'd say it is something like taking the first part of the Empire's theme from FFVI (Orchestral Version) right up to the Grand Pause, then a roll of thunder as Magus's Theme kicks in a dark key.
G is for - God: Agnostic-ish, pantheistic-ish, duodivinity-ish. Chaosian/Discordian part-time.
H is for - Hometown: Grass Lake, Michigan
I is for – Ice cream flavor of preference: Moose Tracks
J is for – Complete the sentence: Justice League ______: rocks.
L is for - Living places: Grass Lake, Ann Arbor.
M is for - Moment: There are always several moments. Many of mine that I remember are my failures and not my successes, which might be just as numerous.
N is for - Number of people on your Friends list that you trust: Trust with what? That number can range from zero to all of them.
O is for - Overnight hospital stays: None that I know of or remember.
P is for - Phobia: Heights, but in a very specific sense of what could go wrong from those heights. That's my fear.
Q is for - Quote you like: "The four places in heaven, the four corners of the earth. In the name of the sacred laws, belief, and goodness. I summon thee, Suzaku, lord of the South. I now say these words to thee, appear on earth from the seven places of heaven for the sake of those here who adore you. Come to us here with thy holy power, smash the evil which threatens us. Save us! And hear our wishes to thee! Descend to us now from the heavens above!" - Summoner's Prayer, Fushigi Yugi
R is for - Relationship that lasted the longest: Nope. Haven't gotten that far yet.
S is for - Sexuality: Straight
T is for - Time you wake up everyday: 7:30 on 9:00 class days, 8:30 on 10:00 class days, 5:15 on home football Saturdays.
U is for - Unique trait(s): Unless my sense of humor counts, I got nothin'.
V is for - Vegetable you love: Cucumbers, but only when pickled.
W is for - Worst habit: Psychotic self-criticism and perfectionism, inability to believe good things about self, depressive rages, raging depressions.
X is for - X-rays you've had: Dental, fingers (two separate incidents), knees.
Y is for - Yummy food you make: Most of what I make tastes good, I just need a recipe to follow.
Z is for - Zodiac sign: Cancer.
no subject
Date: 2004-09-29 12:37 pm (UTC)