Part Two: Musing of a different sort
May. 10th, 2006 03:01 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
silveradeptRecent events in the 'net world and the real world have me thinking again. You may run like hell now, if you so choose. You'll make it to the bunker before I say anything that could be strange.
Anyway, I was pondering the decision made by D.C. Simpson recently to express herself as a female to the public and society at large. (Have to be careful with those pronouns - first thing I typed was "himself", and then I realized, while that would make the point and cause the appropriate double-take, it's not really worthwhile. This probably figures into a point somewhere later.) The reaction from the commentators in his journal has been overwhelmingly positive and accepting. May be a matter of preaching to the choir (and her statement that she has nothing to fear from the comments probably confirms this), but the case is that Dana finally decided that it was time to tell the truth.
Welah knew much earlier than he told me. He, too, eventually decided it was time to tell the truth and stop hiding. These are decisions with large ramifications, many positive, many negative. I've met a lot of people who don't orbit anywhere near what American society considers "normal", for whatever reason. These people are interesting, and they have considerable courage to be what they are publicly.
What I find equally interesting, though, has been my reaction (perhaps more accurately, lack thereof) to these decisions and new information. Specifically, it doesn't bother me. While it may take time to make my pronouns reassign themselves properly (the example above proves that point), there's nothing intrinsically odd or bothersome to me about someone identifying with a different gender. (Until I get hit on by another man, and realize it as such, the jury's out on whether or not I'm disturbed by that. I don't think it will, though, once I get over the initial shock of someone thinking I'm cute.) Nor about someone who is attracted to their same gender. Or someone who identifies as androgynous or hermaphroditic. There's no intrinsic revulsion at finding out any of these things. (Must be Ann Arbor's influence. Around such people too much, starting to think they're okay and normal. I'm straying from my roots and young-age influences. Does it show too much?)
That's interesting, as it appears to be a counter-normal thing by itself. At least, according to the ways that people voted, according to the ways that people act, according to people who claim a religion, contort it, and then their programming on the airwaves. They have enough like minds that they receive enough in money to continue their plague. According to what one hears at water coolers, reads in newspaper stories of brutal degradations, according to what one sees on the faces of those still trying to find the courage to live their own lives without fears. According to what the apparent normal is, being okay with these things is very not normal (sinful, even, some of them might say, or "morally relativistic").
It shouldn't be. The injunction "Go and sin no more" comes after the declaration "Let the one who is without sin cast the first stone." Those who would throw stones are reminded that they, too, have non-normal behaviors, things that their society would probably frown upon. They are called to work on their own difficulties before condemning others for theirs. "Brother, there is a speck in your eye." only works when you've taken the plank out of your own.
So, in any case, I wonder whether this really is not-normal, or whether I'm just not seeing how normal it is, and if it isn't normal, then is it a good deviance or a bad one? Both from the "society" standpoint, as well as personal standpoints. It's stuff worth thinking about - so tell me what you think.
Anyway, I was pondering the decision made by D.C. Simpson recently to express herself as a female to the public and society at large. (Have to be careful with those pronouns - first thing I typed was "himself", and then I realized, while that would make the point and cause the appropriate double-take, it's not really worthwhile. This probably figures into a point somewhere later.) The reaction from the commentators in his journal has been overwhelmingly positive and accepting. May be a matter of preaching to the choir (and her statement that she has nothing to fear from the comments probably confirms this), but the case is that Dana finally decided that it was time to tell the truth.
Welah knew much earlier than he told me. He, too, eventually decided it was time to tell the truth and stop hiding. These are decisions with large ramifications, many positive, many negative. I've met a lot of people who don't orbit anywhere near what American society considers "normal", for whatever reason. These people are interesting, and they have considerable courage to be what they are publicly.
What I find equally interesting, though, has been my reaction (perhaps more accurately, lack thereof) to these decisions and new information. Specifically, it doesn't bother me. While it may take time to make my pronouns reassign themselves properly (the example above proves that point), there's nothing intrinsically odd or bothersome to me about someone identifying with a different gender. (Until I get hit on by another man, and realize it as such, the jury's out on whether or not I'm disturbed by that. I don't think it will, though, once I get over the initial shock of someone thinking I'm cute.) Nor about someone who is attracted to their same gender. Or someone who identifies as androgynous or hermaphroditic. There's no intrinsic revulsion at finding out any of these things. (Must be Ann Arbor's influence. Around such people too much, starting to think they're okay and normal. I'm straying from my roots and young-age influences. Does it show too much?)
That's interesting, as it appears to be a counter-normal thing by itself. At least, according to the ways that people voted, according to the ways that people act, according to people who claim a religion, contort it, and then their programming on the airwaves. They have enough like minds that they receive enough in money to continue their plague. According to what one hears at water coolers, reads in newspaper stories of brutal degradations, according to what one sees on the faces of those still trying to find the courage to live their own lives without fears. According to what the apparent normal is, being okay with these things is very not normal (sinful, even, some of them might say, or "morally relativistic").
It shouldn't be. The injunction "Go and sin no more" comes after the declaration "Let the one who is without sin cast the first stone." Those who would throw stones are reminded that they, too, have non-normal behaviors, things that their society would probably frown upon. They are called to work on their own difficulties before condemning others for theirs. "Brother, there is a speck in your eye." only works when you've taken the plank out of your own.
So, in any case, I wonder whether this really is not-normal, or whether I'm just not seeing how normal it is, and if it isn't normal, then is it a good deviance or a bad one? Both from the "society" standpoint, as well as personal standpoints. It's stuff worth thinking about - so tell me what you think.
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no subject
Date: 2006-05-10 12:16 pm (UTC)Of course you know about my best friend and her quest to be female, after trying to be male for most of her life. The day she told me was the day I quit referring to her as a he, unless I was in "mixed company" - that is, friends from HS who she still hadn't told yet. I was honestly surprised with myself how easily I transitioned into the feminine pronouns for her, but perhaps it's because pronouns and gender just don't bother me.
It's funny too, being close friends with so many gay guys, and hearing them use gender pronouns on each other. A real "queenie" type will get called a "she", a more masculine guy, "he". What do they call themselves? a lot of them interchange the pronouns. It's also, from my expereince, perfectly normal and OK to call a gay man "she" and a lesbian woman "he". This also could just be the circle I hang out with, though.
I've taken those gender quizzes that someone mentioned too, and I generally get an even split, or a close to even split. Am I transgendered? No. Am I androgynous? No. I'm simply me. I wouldn't even consider myself a "tomboy" -- I'm just capable of hanging out with boys and liking what they like, as well as hanging out with girls. Lots of my boy friends love me because of how flexible I am, and well, who doesn't like looking at girls with another girl? (hehe)
Anyway - One thing that I learned (*gasp* i learned something?) in all those farging HD FS classes is that Gender is a more mental thing, where as your Sex is your physical body. Which is also why I HATE the damn BRFSS surveys that ask people for their "Gender", when we need to know what their physical body is. I've already spoken to Trans people upset that there wasn't an option for them, and I had to explain to them what we specfically were looking for (physical body, because of the health q's...don't want to ask a trans woman if she's ever had a pap smear, because she's lacking that equiptment, same for asking a trans guy if he's ever had a prostate exam). The rest of my co-workers? Yeah, they have no idea how to deal with it.
"Let the one without sin cast the first stone" - It's so true. No one is truely sinless, even if you are a devout catholic who goes to confessional 3 times a week. The point is, everyone does something that someone else doesn't like, and the general idea is that we, as a whole, need to start accepting those differences and embracing them.
As for the gender-identity of DC Simpson....I really never took much notice. They draw a good comic, and that's all that matters to me. Male or Female, DC is still going to have the same drawing ability.
I've never done anything to make people think I was the opposite gender, but even in the crfh community, there's plenty of it. A few people were quite a shock at BC last year, let me tell you.
And of course, when I introduce Erin to people who have only HEARD me speak of her...they get confused.
OH - and you getting hit on by a boy? Let me just tell you that I do know of at least 2 bi/gay men who think you are attractive based on a photo.
no subject
Date: 2006-05-10 03:09 pm (UTC)Pronouns are rather inflexible in the language - while there are official usages for gender-neturality, they're all based on gender-specific sorts of pronouns. There's not a gender-neutral pronoun by itself that I know of.
As for being attractive, well, that's good to know. Not sure what I'll be able to do with it yet, but it's still a good thing to know.
no subject
Date: 2006-05-10 03:41 pm (UTC)The German language has one....no, wait..i think thre are 5 or 6 neutral pronouns.
(supposed to be doing work, will reply to the rest later)
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Date: 2006-05-10 05:19 pm (UTC)>.<I demand this photo.no subject
Date: 2006-05-10 06:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-10 08:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-10 10:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-10 08:37 pm (UTC)*follows links*
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Date: 2006-05-10 09:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-10 10:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-10 08:58 pm (UTC)